


Magnum Bullets

by SuperAwesomePandaKitty



Category: Resident Evil - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, Getting Together, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Smut, Though I'm not a doctor so, because I am not about fatalistic trash lol, ew re5 references, flashbacks to RE3 ending
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-17
Updated: 2020-06-25
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:08:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 24,956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24228610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SuperAwesomePandaKitty/pseuds/SuperAwesomePandaKitty
Summary: Carlos startled awake when he heard a heavy knock at the door, he looked around warily and realised he must have fallen asleep on the couch again as the TV rumbled quietly in the background. He had been waiting for her to come back from her mission; they were two days late and he was worried, refusing any jobs that cropped up until he was sure she safe.He rubbed his tired eyes when the knocking sounded again; pushing himself to a stand, he could feel little more than dread pooling in his gut as he walked to the door nervously…There could only be one person on the other side of that door…Only one that would knock anyway.
Relationships: Carlos Oliveira/Jill Valentine
Comments: 37
Kudos: 110





	1. Dread

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my first dip into the Resident Evil Fandom...I always loved Jill and Carlos and the Remake did nothing to quell my delusions...if anything it gave me more justice for my baby Carlos! So this is my take on what happens next/hope it will lead to revelations 3 possibly? <3 what I'm trying to say is, give me justice for Jarlos and redeem yourselves for that god awful treatment of Jill in RE5. Anyways hope you enjoy! I'm still writing this and already have ideas of where I want to take this so if you have any suggestions I'd be willing to hear them :3

Carlos startled awake when he heard a heavy knock at the door, he looked around warily and realised he must have fallen asleep on the couch again as the TV rumbled quietly in the background. He had been waiting for her to come back from her mission; they were two days late and he was worried, refusing any jobs that cropped up until he was sure she safe.

He rubbed his tired eyes when the knocking sounded again, pushing himself to a stand he could feel little more than dread pooling in his gut and he walked to the door nervously. There could only be one person on the other side of that door…Only one that would knock anyway.

He looked through the peep hole and sure enough…A jagged hand clenched around his heart as he swallowed thickly and after taking a deep breath in, he finally opened the door and walked straight to the kitchen without looking back.

Making a beeline for the fridge, he grabbed two bottles of beer and his bottle opener before setting them on the table as he dropped down heavily onto his seat.

The visitor sat on the opposite side, accepting the beer with a quiet nod as Carlos opened them and took a deep pull of his own. The only sound in the room for a few minutes was a ticking clock as they stewed in the inevitable and Carlos stared down at the beer in his hands desperately as he tried to hold himself together.

"Say it." Carlos said in a hoarse voice, unable to stand the quiet any longer.

"Carlos…" The other murmured as they squirmed in their seat uncomfortably.

"Redfield just fucking say it." He growled out as the other man had fallen silent again.

"Jill's dead." Chris finally said, forcing himself to meet Carlos' accusatory gaze with guilt written plainly all over his face. Carlos felt his heart tear in two but he wouldn't break down in front of the other man, he swallowed thickly and looked away as he willed the tears not to fall.

"How?" Was all he could manage as he took another few sips of his beer and Chris looked down at his own.

"Does it matter?" Chris asked, looking up with a jolt when Carlos' fist hit the table.

" _It matters_. How did she die?" Carlos demanded, he took another deep breath knowing Jill….Knowing she wouldn't be happy if he went off on her best friend.

"She saved my life…Wesker, he was gonna kill me…Jill, she ran at Wesker and they fell through the window and over the cliff…We couldn't find a body but there's no-." Chris explained quickly but Carlos clung to that one little piece of hope and interrupted.

"You didn't find her body?! How do you even know she's dead? And you what? You _left_ her there?!" Carlos shouted, the anger causing his blood to boil and it took everything in him not to punch Chris Redfield right then and there…He could hear Jill telling him to calm down in his head so he tried desperately to keep a hold of himself as Chris rushed to explain.

"I swear to you we looked as best as we could but we couldn't find her and the height that they had fallen…nothing could survive it. I wish it were different but…" Chris trailed off and Carlos scoffed at him looking away as he wanted to deny the truth of that statement but found that he couldn't.

"Was it worth it?" Carlos asked quietly, shoulders slumping in defeat as the heartbreak really started to sink in.

"What?" Chris asked, looking torn as Carlos felt that anger anew.

"After the Mansion, Racoon City, Taking down Umbrella, then Terrasave, the BSAA…Wesker. Was it worth it? Jill would have followed you anywhere and because you couldn't let this go, she had to go after you so was your revenge worth her life?!" Carlos yelled, grief taking control of everything as he shook with rage and he buried his face in his hands as he tried desperately not to crumble.

"I'm sorry." Chris offered after a few painfully long minutes, it seemed he himself couldn't even answer that question.

"Get out." Carlos muttered. "Jill wouldn't want me to hit you so get the hell out of my house." He explained bitterly and Chris nodded, he didn't look overly threatened by that but he seemed understanding as he walked out and the door closed behind him with a quiet click.

"Goddamit Jill." Carlos murmured, voice cracking as the dam broke and he allowed himself to sob. Thinking back to their last encounter just served to make him feel worse…After everything they'd been through…

After Racoon City was reduced to ash and smoke, he had flown the helicopter as far as it would carry them and they ended up in some hick ass town in the middle of nowhere. Staying at some cheap motel as they got showers and their bearings.

They decided to stick together, going on the run and never staying in one place for too long as they tried to gather evidence and witnesses to build a case against Umbrella. Barry had helped set them up with the next safe house and the next as Umbrella had been sending agents out after them during their trials and when finally FINALLY the courts had deemed them guilty and the pharmaceutical company was liquidated…They settled on a house in a quiet suburban nowhere area.

Carlos was planning to retire then; his fight was over. He got his vengeance for Tyrell and for Mikhail…and the people he had tried to save. Umbrella was no more and he was free...yet Jill...she couldn't be free, there was always something and anytime Chris Redfield got himself involved in shit you best believe she was right there with him.

Jill always came back to him though, there was something between them…They both knew it but refused to act on it, Jill always said that after they took Umbrella down they would talk but even after they achieved their goal, there was terrasave and Bioweapons being sold on the black market and sent all over the world. Carlos followed her into those wars of course, not always directly but he was always fighting somewhere for her cause.

He and Jill had a fight before she had left for that mission; Chris mentioned a lead on Wesker so Jill naturally decided she was going after him. Carlos had thought it was stupid to go after Wesker without proper backup…Even begged to go with them but Jill told him he wouldn't understand and it wasn't his fight.

"The fighting never ends does it?" He had asked her bitterly, Jill opened and closed her mouth as she was unable to answer and Carlos huffed a humourless laugh. "Well maybe I'm tired of fighting, I'm tired of waiting…maybe I'm just tired of this. Jill, you know I-."

"Don't say it!" Jill interrupted urgently. Carlos sneered resentfully and looked away from her but she let out an upset sigh which caused him to meet her frantic gaze. "When I get back." She promised like a plea…maybe she was sensing that he was seriously considering leaving this time.

Carlos turned away again and shook his head sadly. "Next time, I might not be here." He murmured softly but the heartbreak in his voice couldn't be misheard. It wasn't meant as a threat, it was stated more out of a bone-deep exhaustion and grief but Jill walked towards him and gripped his wrist almost desperately.

"Next time." She pushed. It was definitely a plea this time and God...of course he couldn't say no. So he pulled her into his chest tightly and she hugged him back, pressing her face under his chin.

"I'll hold you to that Supercop." He murmured and couldn't stop himself from kissing the top of her head before he let her go. She smiled up at him once in relief before grabbing her stuff and running out the door without looking back.


	2. Shock

For the next three years Carlos threw himself into working for the BSAA, grafting his way through the ranks to become a captain with his own team. This most recent mission was in Afghanistan, somehow the opposing side had managed to get their hands on an evolved form of Hunters…something he hadn't faced since Racoon City.

His team were good if a little terrified once these Hunters managed to get up close, but he had trained them to stick together and defend each other so they were holding their own with minimum damage which was better than nothing.

They were on the final stretch of this shitshow of a mission, the stress and exhaustion was beginning to take its toll as he had already lost two of his guys in their most recent battle. They were taking a break before they went out again as Carlos had wanted them to have one last chance to call their families without having to say it in so many words.

"Captain!" Smith called out to him, running like a fire had been lit under his ass and Carlos looked him over worriedly.

"What?" He asked urgently, huffing impatiently when Smith was too busy trying to catch his breath and gestured behind him vaguely.

"There's a phone call for you, Sir." Smith eventually said and Carlos frowned in response…Were there new orders?

"Did they say who it was?" Carlos questioned but Smith shook his head.

"He said it was personal Sir." He answered, gaze turning curious when Carlos' shoulders immediately slumped and he grumbled bitterly.

"Thanks." He offered and begrudgingly walked towards the communications hut. There could only be one man who would call him at a time like this…Goddamn Chris Redfield keeping tabs on him like Carlos was his personal problem.

"You have got shitty timing Redfield, I'll give you that." He heatedly spoke into the receiver as soon as he picked up the phone.

"Carlos." Chris greeted calmly, seemingly ignoring his hostile tone. "Where are you right now?"

"Surprised you don't know the answer to that Chris, I won't lie." Carlos sneered. "Clearing out the last of these Hunters in Afghan with my team." He grumbled, knowing from experience that Chris would just keep pushing otherwise.

"And after that?" Carlos let out a heavy sigh and rolled his eyes.

"Wait for new orders I guess, what's it to you?"

"Come home." Chris stated plainly. "Those are your new orders."

Carlos frowned at that. "You can't just boss me around." He barked down the phone but it was already disconnected and he wanted to throw the phone into the wall.

Sometimes he really fucking hated Chris Redfield.

He lost four good men and women in the fight. He was injured and had been shot but he kept going, if only for the morale of the rest of his team. Once they defeated the opposition and succeeded in taking down all the hunters, he told the higher ups that he was taking a break.

He got the first flight back to the States and when he landed he rented a car. Carlos debated then whether to rush back to the house but he had wanted to personally contact the families of his fallen team members, so he drove.

It took him two days but he did it, heart feeling heavier at each cry of denial and desperate plea that he was telling a lie. He felt miserable as he pulled into the driveway of his old house, it hadn't felt like home in a long time and he probably should have let it go but he never could.

Easing himself out of the car with a pained hiss, he grabbed his bag and limped towards the front door. Chris' car was already parked outside the house so he wasn't surprised to know the man had already let himself inside.

He dumped his bag at the door and hobbled his way into the kitchen. He noticed Chris sitting in his usual spot by the door in his peripheral vision but he ignored him as he made a beeline for the fridge and grabbed a beer out of it. He opened it almost desperately as he chugged half of the bottle before he let out a tired heavy sigh and turned to find out what the other man wanted.

The bottle dropped from his hand and smashed on the floor.

She was staring up at him from her seat at the table, her expression almost frightened, a look he rarely saw on her before, if ever. He couldn't take his eyes off her, unable to move or say anything as pure unadulterated shock had him trapped within his mind.

Chris leaned over to her, whispering something Carlos couldn't hear and then suddenly Chris was standing in front of him. The other man placed a grounding hand on his shoulder and Carlos finally tore his eyes from her to meet Chris' steady gaze. Chris nodded once before walking away and Carlos' stare was drawn to her again.

He took the time to look her over; noting that she was wearing his shirt and some pyjama bottoms with no shoes on her bare feet and it was then that he remembered the glass on the floor. Stammering a little incoherently, he staggered towards the broom cupboard to clean up the mess.

Once he had all the glass swept away he turned, startled to find her standing right behind him as he hadn't heard her move and she looked up at him silently. He couldn't hold himself back anymore; he dropped the broom and threw his arms around her as he buried his face in her neck. He broke into sobs, helpless to stop the overwhelming grief and he tightened his hold when he felt her shaking in his arms with quiet cries of her own.

They could have been standing there for hours, sobbing into each other's neck with greedy hands gripping at the other's back but at some point Carlos managed to get a hold of himself and he pulled back only slightly to look her over.

He was too afraid to ask the usual questions like how? Why? …When would she inevitably leave him again to throw herself into another fight? So he settled for looking for any visible injuries which he was glad to see there were none but he no doubt suspected there were a plethora of mental and emotional scars if not physical. She had been dea- no- _missing_ for three years, and he had no doubt she went through a lot of traumatising events but he wouldn't dare ask her; she would tell him when she was ready.

"Are you hurt?" He asked her, wanting to make sure she wasn't in danger of collapse but she shook her head and her fingers delicately brushed a scar on his face that he'd earned in the three years she'd been gone. "I'm okay." He assured her, he could read the questions all on her face but he didn't want her to worry and truth be told…He wasn't really ready to talk about all that had happened to him either.

"You're hurt." Jill stated so quietly he wouldn't have heard it had he not been so close but he gave her a weak reassuring smile.

"I'm okay, I promise. I've been stitched up…it's just gonna take a while to heal." Carlos replied in a soft voice. "You look exhausted Jill, maybe you should get some sleep." She stared back at him for a few moments before she nodded, reluctantly backing away from him and he immediately missed her touch but desperately tried not to let it show on his face. "You can sleep in my room tonight, I've had a cleaning crew come by every so often and keep the place clean but…uh…they weren't allowed in your room. I'll take the pull-out couch in the living room." He explained awkwardly, he averted his eyes from her then and stumbled towards the stairs; Jill silently following behind.

He opened his bedroom door, grabbing some pyjama pants out of his drawer and a clean shirt before he turned around and noticed her standing in the doorway. She was looking around the room nervously and Carlos found that he really didn't know how to act around this new Jill. She seemed like a skittish deer and _God_ he couldn't blame her after everything she had probably been through but he was so terrified of doing something that would scare her or hurt her.

"I'll get your bed sheets and some clothes washed tonight so you can sleep in your own room tomorrow if that would make you more comfortable." He offered in a soft voice, she shrugged dismissively before walking towards his bed to lay down and pulled the blankets tightly around her. "Sleep well." He murmured as he met her exhausted gaze before gently closing the door behind him. A small smile tugged on his lips when he heard the whispered 'Goodnight' he received in response.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had 2 chapters ready, working on the third but it's time for sleep. Hopefully the next will be up tomorrow night. <3


	3. Careful

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is a little longer and later than I would have liked but here it is :D

Carlos sighed quietly as he limped towards Jill's room. He hadn't been in it in the three years she'd been gone, honestly it felt like he would have been desecrating her grave in a way; considering they didn't have a funeral for her. Her pyjama drawer was left open, probably from when she got home so he didn't feel too guilty for grabbing the remaining clothes in there and leaving them in a pile by the door while he stripped her bedsheets.

When he was finished, he made his way to the door and bent down to pick up as much as he could carry with a pained grunt before carefully making his way downstairs to the laundry room. His tummy grumbled after he turned on the washing machine and he made his way to the fridge to find something to eat. The fridge was laughably bare save for a few beers and he quickly checked the time on the clock on the wall, biting his lip contemplatively as he realised that the store would close soon.

He could order the majority of their shopping online the next day but he would need to go out and get the basics if they wanted to at least have breakfast. He debated with himself whether to call up to Jill and let her know he would be back soon but if she had managed to fall asleep he didn't want to risk waking her. He grabbed the pad of sticky notes and wrote on two of them, leaving one on the kitchen table and one on the wall in front of the stairs to inform her that he would be back in ten before grabbing his keys and getting into his car.

Once he got everything they would need, he drove home and carefully slid himself out of the car. Staggering closer to the door, he was distracted as he juggled the bags and his keys in his arms; struggling to figure out a way to open it without dropping anything. He startled as the door suddenly swung open and Jill was looking him over anxiously.

"Thanks." He recovered and greeted with a kind smile as he shuffled past her into the kitchen, dropping his keys on the table before setting the bags down on the counter-top to be unpacked later. Carlos noted that she was hovering by the doorway as she watched him warily, he bit his lip in concern when their eyes met and he couldn't help but feel a little responsible as he observed the bags under her eyes.

"You hungry?" Carlos asked worriedly but she shook her head and stepped towards him before pressing herself against his chest. His arms came up automatically to hug her back as closely as he could without hurting her and she settled more comfortably against him, rubbing her face into his neck slightly. "Sorry if I scared you, I didn't wanna wake you if you were asleep." He mumbled delicately because even though this new Jill was a little different, he could still read her. She pulled back from him, looking at his face for a few moments before she nodded and let out a tired sigh. Turning to head back upstairs, she silently grabbed his keys on her way and left the room.

Carlos blinked a little at that, trying to shrug it off but feeling guilty as he started putting everything away before he decided to make himself a sandwich, making one for Jill as well and placing a sticky note on the fridge in case she got hungry later.

The washing machine was still going so he grabbed his plate and another beer before heading into the living room. He set his plate down on the side table to pull out the bed part of the couch and get it set up, carefully sitting himself down and turning on the TV down low when he was done.

He settled on some comedy channel, eating his food quickly; not realising how hungry he was until that first bite and when he'd finished he could feel his exhaustion trying to consume him as he struggled not to fall asleep. He blinked heavily, wanting to stay awake since he would need to put Jill's stuff in the dryer; she never did like leaving things in the machine overnight.

When he woke up, it was morning and he scrunched his eyes closed as the sun beamed over his face…He froze when he felt a warm weight against his shoulder and peeked one eye open to squint down at a sleeping Jill.

She was curled in on herself but her sleeping face was pressed against his neck, one hand clutching his shirt and Carlos wouldn't dare move. For as long as he'd known her, she had had trouble sleeping so he wouldn't begrudge her this.

He wasn't sure how long he lay there just basking in her presence, he switched on the subtitles on the TV so he wouldn't get caught in the trap of staring at her sleeping form and before long she was stirring against him.

Jill pulled back only slightly, blinking up at him sluggishly and he looked down at her before offering her a warm smile to which she had given him a ghost of one of her own in response.

"You changed your hair." Carlos pointed out quietly, it wasn't really on the list of his priorities the night before but he had noticed and he immediately regretted saying anything when she grimaced.

"Not by choice." She replied bitterly before swallowing and her eyes raised to his own. "You cut yours?" Jill added, looking a little shy and he rolled onto his side carefully so they could talk face to face.

"I'm a Captain in the BSAA now so I kind of had to." He explained with a shrug, absently brushing his hand through the hair at the top of his head and something warm bloomed in his chest when it looked like Jill had pouted faintly.

"I miss it." She murmured quietly and Carlos couldn't help the fond chuckle that escaped him.

"I'll never cut it again." He offered with a grin, feeling proud when a minute smirk tugged on her lips.

They lay like that in a comfortable silence and just revelled in the other's company. Jill jolted when his hand gently skimmed her side and he pulled away as if he'd been burned, her hand snapped down on top of his retreating one and she brought it back to settle against her waist again, keeping her hand on his as they relaxed back into their previous calm.

"You should change your bandages." Jill murmured after a few more minutes of quiet contentment and he let out a muted exhale as he reluctantly pulled away from her. Turning, he moved to push himself off the bed to get his bag but he noticed it was already beside him…Jill must have placed it there last night, and he reached in to grab his first aid kit before leaning back to sit up against the pillows.

Jill pushed herself up to a sit then and lifted the kit out of his hands, looking at him expectantly. He frowned warily at her but her gaze didn't falter so he shrugged and moved to lift his shirt over his head. Carlos paused with his hands resting on the bottom of his shirt to gauge her reaction and she nodded gesturing for him to get on with it.

Hissing as the movement tugged on his wounds, he managed to get the shirt off and set it to the side. Jill looked him over with a concerned expression as her eyes catalogued all the various scars, old and new that he had accumulated before her eyes focused on the necklace resting innocently above his heart and he covered it with a hand to hide it from view.

The dog tags with a locket, they were his most important possessions and even though it was only Jill, he couldn't help but feel protective over them…They would only give him away.

Jill swallowed and got to work, gently peeling the bandage off a nasty scratch he had above his hip and throwing it in the wastepaper basket by the side. He watched her as she focused on her task, the broken shell she had been seemed to be hidden away as this version of Jill had a mission she was determined to complete.

Once she had cleaned and re-bandaged the wounds on his chest and arm, she pulled back and met his eyes. "Why were you limping?" She asked and _there_ was his Supercop just below the surface, stubborn with her chin turned up and a no-nonsense attitude…knowing all too well that he would try and lie to her, if only to save her some worry.

"I got shot in the thigh." He explained reluctantly. "But it's okay, I can clean it myself." Jill shook her head adamantly; he could read it in her face…her need to take care of him like he did for her. He sighed, looking her over fondly and she gestured for him to let her see the wound. He slowly unbuttoned his jeans, he'd fallen asleep before he could get into his pyjama bottoms which he regretted immensely as he groaned in pain while he eased the tight fabric down his legs. Jill quickly got to work, she delicately unwrapped the bandages on his mid-thigh before cleaning the stitches which caused him to grunt as it stung more than he thought it would.

When she was done, she looked up at him with an apologetic smile for causing him pain but he shook his head and thanked her by reaching over to give her hand a squeeze. Her smile became a little warmer at that and if Carlos died right then he wouldn't even care… _God_ , he had missed her smile.

"Are you sure you're not hurt?" He asked her worriedly, Jill stared back at him contemplatively for a few moments before reaching down and pulling off the shirt she was wearing. Carlos nearly choked; even though she wasn't wearing a bra he couldn't take his eyes off the deep and jagged wounds formed in a kind of circle just above her breasts. His shocked eyes met hers and she merely gazed back at him with a wounded sort of defiance like this wouldn't defeat her; she simply wouldn't allow it.

Carlos carefully took the first aid kit from her hands, grabbing some gauze and the antibacterial spray before meeting her eyes again. "May I?" He murmured and she nodded. He placed a gentle hand on her shoulder as his other began to dab at the wounds. He apologised in a soft voice every time she would let a few pained whimpers escape, and he lightly pressed his forehead against hers when he finished taping down the last of the bandages.

He allowed his eyes to close, simply breathing her in and enjoying the contact as he brushed a comforting hand up and down her arm. He felt her own sliding up his chest and he relaxed into the soothing contact but his eyes snapped open when she choked out a little sob.

"Jill?" He asked her worriedly, she had a shocked stare aimed at this chest and he looked down quickly. The locket was open, one side of the locket had a picture of her pulling a goofy face and the other was her…staring back at him with the softest of smiles after he had come back from a mission and brought her a Polaroid camera as a souvenir.

"I'm not sorry." Carlos told her defensively and she looked up at him with a watery gaze.

"What?" Jill asked in surprise, voice barely a whisper.

"I won't apologise for this Jill…You were dead." He replied brokenly, unable to meet her eyes as he pulled away from her and closed the locket quickly.

"That's not-." She said, trailing off as her hand gripped his arm to stop him from moving any further.

Carlos remained where he was, allowing her to move closer to him and she pressed her face into his neck, urging him to hold her with a squeeze of her hand. He hugged her then, a tired sigh leaving his lips as he leaned back so they could lie down with Jill resting against his chest.

They stayed like that for a while, the silence a little tense as the weight of unspoken things stood between them but Carlos wasn't going to push. He was so goddamn grateful that she was even here, alive and in his arms in this moment that the thought of her pushing him away was unbearable.

He thought he had imagined the lips ghosting against his chest as Jill whispered a small "thank you" before she pulled away from him, grabbing her shirt and walking off to the bathroom. Carlos sighed, rubbing a hand down his face as he pushed himself to a sit before getting up to make breakfast for them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed :)


	4. Talk

Carlos grabbed his pyjama pants and carefully slid them on as he headed into the kitchen. He had settled on cooking some bacon and eggs for them whilst Jill spent a suspiciously long time in the bathroom and was plating up their breakfast when she finally joined him. Her eyes were a little red rimmed and she gave him a weak smile before taking a seat at the table.

He set their plates and cutlery down as he eased himself carefully onto his seat, offering her a warm smile to try to show her he wasn't angry. She thanked him quietly as she looked down at her breakfast and they began to eat in an awkward silence.

"So…uh…" Carlos began, scrambling for something to say. "Does it taste okay?"

"It's good, thank you." She replied in a hoarse whisper, glancing up at him hesitantly and he nodded with a little shrug. "Aren't you gonna ask me?" Jill murmured then and Carlos frowned worriedly, unsure of what she meant until she gave him a pointed look and it clicked.

"We don't have to talk about it." He suggested softly. "If you wanna share it with me, I'm more than willing to listen but I don't wanna push you Jill." She frowned at him, looking very much like she didn't believe him…which stung a little.

"It's been three years." Jill stated quietly, as if it should have been obvious and Carlos huffed out a broken exhale as his heart clenched painfully in his chest.

"Believe me Jill… _I_ _know_." He murmured miserably, turning his head away from her as he took another bite of his bacon and swallowed thickly.

"Wesker's dead…for good this time." She stated with a dismissive shrug and Carlos' grip around his fork tightened.

"Good." He replied bitterly. "Though I'm sure you'll find someone else to vanquish Supercop, don't you worry." He commented lightly as he looked back at her with a weak grin but his heart wasn't in it. He hadn't meant it as a dig at her but he could tell she took it as one when she grimaced a little.

Jill turned her head away, taking a deep breath. "I was thinking of retiring." She mumbled, glancing back hesitantly to gauge his reaction. It was a mistake because he didn't believe her and it must have shown on his face as she had straightened in her seat with a hurt frown. "I mean it."

"Okay, I believe you." Carlos replied a little too quickly and he swallowed back all the things he wanted to say to the contrary.

"Just say it." Jill growled...he wished she couldn't read him so well.

"Jill." Carlos whispered, raising his hands in defence. "I don't wanna fight with you."

"It won't be a fight." She replied irritably. "Just be honest with me." Carlos let out a sigh as he met her stubborn gaze and he chewed on his lip thoughtfully for a few minutes.

"Okay. I believe that for the time being you need rest and could use a break." He started hesitantly, Jill stared back at him with stormy blue eyes and he questioned himself on whether to go ahead with his next statement but he knew she wouldn't let it go until he said whatever was on his mind; that's just how she was. "But once you get better, there will still be work to do for the BSAA and I'm sure there'll be other Weskers to deal with."

"I don't care." Jill whispered. "I'm done with it…I can't trust myself anymore. They used me as their weapon Carlos; they were controlling me." She explained miserably as a stray tear fell down her cheek and Carlos reacted swiftly, his hand reaching up to cup her face as his thumb stroked it away soothingly.

"That wasn't you Jill." He reminded her with a determined gaze. "Whatever you did, you had no control and no one would hold it against you." Jill met his eyes sadly, her hand gently raising to cover his own and she swallowed nervously.

"You told me once that you were thinking of retiring." She murmured as she examined his face carefully.

"I did." He replied softly, thumb rubbing smooth circles on her cheek and her hand tightened in his before he pulled away from her reluctantly. Feeling guilt as her hand dropped to her lap and her face tightened minutely. "That was a long time ago." Carlos added in a hoarse voice, not meeting her eyes as he didn't want her to see all the regrets and grief he held in his own.

"You're going back to the BSAA?" Jill asked in a small voice and his heart clenched.

"Jill…"He tried but she shook her head, looking at him desperately.

"Don't do that." She demanded and he met her eyes helplessly. "I don't care if it hurts just say whatever you have to say."

"Jill." He tried again, shaking his head in denial and his heart began to thump loudly in his chest as he didn't want to do this in front of her. She'd been through enough, she didn't need him pouring out the years of grief he had been holding back…even before she went missing. "Let's not do this, okay? I _just_ got you back." He huffed out the last sentence desperately but he read that stubborn determination on her face, the closing of her walls as she prepared to push him into dropping his own and he stood quickly, needing to escape.

"Carlos." Jill said in _that_ voice…that same goddamn pleading voice and Carlos froze. His face scrunched up in pain as he frantically tried to not give in but he felt her hand gripping his wrist in a small but determined signal to not go and he felt the emotions bubbling up.

"Dammit Jill." He hissed brokenly, she stood then and waited expectantly. "What the hell do you want me to say?" Carlos asked bitterly, varying emotions flowing through his veins as he tried to reign in the anger, resentment, grief… _Love_.

"The truth." Jill answered simply, she braced herself and Carlos could feel a bout of pettiness rise within his chest as he briefly considered saying nothing for the rest of the day but he'd tried that before with Jill…It never worked; she followed him around the house like a cat as she pretended to be disinterested but always found an excuse to be in the same room as him until he finally gave in and talked to her.

"You want the truth?" He asked sullenly and she nodded adamantly. " _Fine_. But just fucking remember Jill that _you_ started this." Jill looked back at him unphased, seemingly ready for anything he had to throw at her and _god_ he had forgotten how infuriating she could be. He wished he didn't love it so much.

"Say it." Jill urged when he had paused and he groaned in frustration.

" _Fine_ , I wanted to retire. I did. And you _knew_ I wanted to do that with you but no, there was always another fight. It never fucking ended and any time I wanted to just move on with my life and forget about Umbrella and bioweapons. Hell, all of it. You wouldn't let me." He ground out, voice growing more and more unsteady as he went on. "I fucking _loved_ you Jill! And before you went and launched yourself off a goddamn cliff for Redfield you wouldn't even grant me the decency of being able to tell you that." He looked away then, breathing heavily as hot tears dripped down his cheeks and he buried his face in his hands to hide them from her.

"I'm sorry." She told him brokenly, reaching up to gently pry his hands away. "I…I wanted that life with you…more than anything but it was like one thing happened after another and I somehow lost track." Jill explained, tears flowing freely down her face and he was no better as he stared back at her, feeling wrecked.

"Well…it's not like we can change it." He murmured miserably.

"I love you." Jill breathed, looking up at him with watery eyes but she pulled away from him so as not to tether him to her. "If it's not too late…we could try."

Carlos stared back at her, feeling conflicted although he didn't know why…it's not like his answer was gonna be anything else. He was in pain, they both were and she looked willing to try but terrified that he would reject her now. Carlos rolled his eyes and pulled her into his arms, squeezing her tightly.

"You're a pain in my ass Valentine." He murmured in a voice filled with affection. Her hands clutched at his back as she took deep breaths in to calm herself and he brushed a soothing hand up and down her back before he withdrew from her to meet her nervous gaze. "I love you Supercop." He whispered, he leaned in to meet her expectant lips and she pressed against him with a relieved sigh as her hand skimmed up his bare chest to clutch the back of his neck and his arm slid around her waist to pull her closer.

He pulled back but didn't let her go too far as she gazed up at him, relief and joy plain on her face and he smiled a little wetly at her before pressing his forehead against hers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been listening to All Good by Nevertel and this made me a little emotional but I hope i did it justice :)


	5. Hope

When they finally parted from each other, Jill reached for his hand and pulled him along with her back to their bed. They spent the next few hours huddled together, curled around each other and watched meaningless TV.

Carlos gently pressed his nose into her temple as she chuckled at some stupid joke on the programme they were watching, arm around her shoulders as she was plastered against his side and he honestly hadn't felt so content in years. It hadn't fixed everything inside of him; her being back…The damage couldn't be erased overnight but just being there in that moment with her had meant everything to him and he delicately placed a soft kiss where his nose had been moments before.

"You okay?" Jill asked quietly, turning her head to look up at him as her eyes sparkled with affection…for him…openly…no secrets, no hiding. No having to look away quickly for showing too much, no fear of pushing too much and Carlos' chest clenched in a kind of bittersweet joy at all they could have had if they had just allowed themselves this…but then again, he was pretty happy after everything so.

Maybe everything happens for a reason, and everything had happened exactly as it should have.

You can't change the past.

Carlos smiled warmly in response and nodded, fingers drawing imaginary pictures along the smooth skin of her arm and she turned back to the TV, tilting her head closer to him.

"We should probably do some grocery shopping." Carlos murmured absentmindedly when the credits rolled on the show and he brushed a hand through his hair. "Was thinking about doing it online if there's anything in particular you would like?" He felt her shrug her shoulders as she rubbed her cheek into his chest, shuffling onto her side so she could meet his questioning gaze.

"Hair dye…if we can?" Jill mumbled, looking a little vulnerable as she brushed her hair out of her eyes and he gave her a sympathetic smile.

"Whatever you want." He replied softly, reluctantly pulling away despite Jill's muffled protests so he could grab his laptop and once he settled back down she was quick to press herself against him again. Once they had finished ordering whatever they needed and booking a time for the delivery, Carlos set his laptop to the side and turned his gaze back to Jill.

"Got something on my face Oliveira?" She asked with a raised brow, a playful smirk tugging at her lips as Carlos snorted fondly and his answering grin turned mischievous.

"Yeah. Me." He stated, leaning in to steal a quick kiss from her and she let out a surprised laugh and rolled her eyes.

"What a line." Jill sniggered, her hand smoothing against his chest and he placed his own on top of hers to lace their fingers together.

"I saw my chance and I took it." He replied with a dismissive shrug, beaming at her as their familiar banter caused warm feelings to swarm in his chest and she shook her head with a look that could only be described as tender.

"I missed you." Jill told him simply. "I don't really remember everything that's happened in the past three years…but when Chris and Sheva snapped me out of it…I thought of you." He squeezed her hand as she worried her bottom lip with her teeth and glanced up at him nervously. He frowned as his other hand brushed a few stray hairs out of her face and tucked them behind her ear.

"Jill." Carlos whispered but she shook her head, looking off to the side and Carlos moved his head to try and catch her eyes. "What is it?"

"I was scared…that maybe you had moved on with your life. Chris said that you hadn't but I wasn't sure if I could believe him…And I knew it wouldn't be fair to you to drag you back to this but I was selfish enough to want to do nothing more." Jill explained anxiously and Carlos could only stare back in surprise.

"Jill…There wasn't a day that went by that I didn't think of you. You have no idea." He whispered and he swallowed thickly. "I hated Chris y'know?" Carlos added, looking at her nervously to gauge her reaction and her brow furrowed in concern.

"Why?" She asked reluctantly, looking away then as she didn't really know what to say.

"Come on Jill, you _know_ why." He muttered. "You would have followed him into hell if he'd asked… _You did_. Then he told me you died, yet they couldn't find your body? And then they just _left_ you behind...We didn't even have a funeral." Carlos let out a heavy exhale as she turned her eyes back to him, shaking her head in denial.

"It wasn't –." She tried but he interrupted her with an understanding nod.

"His fault, I know. I…I wasn't okay...not for a long time after he told me. I threw myself into work...I couldn't take the quiet in the house anymore but I couldn't let the house go either because it felt like I would've been letting go of you. But Chris…he was like my fucking shadow, made sure to know where I was, which job I was on, who I was working for, how long I'd been on it. Called me like…all the fucking time and wouldn't take no for an answer." He realised he sounded bitter as she watched him worriedly but he let out a defeated sigh. "I _know_ why. He was probably doing it for you, maybe even for me but at the time I just couldn't even stomach the thought of him."

"And now?" Jill asked, hesitation in her voice as her hand squeezed his and her eyes stared into his with trepidation.

"You're here." He said hoarsely with a small shrug. "He brought you back to me."

It was obviously the right thing to say as she gave him a sad little smile before leaning up to kiss him gently, her lips soft as they pressed against his, her free hand slid up to his face as she caressed his cheek and her thumb lovingly stroked the small scar she found there just above his beard. Carlos smiled into the kiss, his ribcage full of birds as his own hand reached up to brush through her hair before settling at the back of her neck.

For the next few days they found themselves in a sort of routine of taking care of each other's wounds, eating together and then lounging on their bed/couch. Forgetting that the world outside existed whilst they spent their time getting reacquainted with each other's quirks and habits.

Carlos hovered over Jill. He couldn't help it, she had been gone for so long he found himself unsure of how to handle her suddenly being back in his life. He worried she wasn't eating enough, not sleeping enough, constantly checking in on her and there were moments where she would get a little frustrated with him and she would snap.

"I swear to god Carlos, if you don't stop motherhenning me I'm going to kill you." Jill growled at him one day as he had tried to take over the cleaning of her room. He pleaded with her to rest, citing that he would do it and he froze as she stared him down determinedly.

"Sorry…I know you can do anything but–." He tried but she shook her head with a sigh and walked over to him, circling her arms around his neck as his shoulders slumped in defeat.

"I'm not going anywhere." Jill urged him softly. "Between the two of us, it's _you_ who should be resting Mister I-Got-Shot." She added pointedly and he smiled ruefully at her as his arms slid around her waist.

"I'm sorry I can't–." He started guiltily but she interrupted him.

"Help it, I know. _I love you_." She insisted and her eyes gazed at him fondly. "But you're driving me a little crazy." Carlos nodded and bit his lip.

"I get it." He replied with a defeated nod. "I love you too."

"Good." Jill stated with a triumphant smirk up at him as she had won this fight and he rolled his eyes at her fondly before pulling away.

The exchanges weren't always that gracious, sometimes Jill would become properly enraged but Carlos could read that there was more to it than just him hovering over her and it was a natural defensive reaction. Sometimes he wouldn't even be hovering at all, he would just be there and there would be something in her eyes that portrayed that she _wasn't_ …She was somewhere else but fighting him all the same.

It all came to a head when Carlos suggested that maybe she should see someone but that served to just raise her hackles and she growled at him angrily.

"I don't need a shrink!" Jill shouted, outraged at the suggestion and Carlos; tired of the fighting and walking on eggshells finally snapped.

"Yes! You do!" He yelled and it was Jill's flinch that had him freezing in place, guilt and regret immediately flooding through his veins for raising his voice to her and in a gentler tone, he added. "And _so do I_ …I'll go if you do." He bargained and she softened before nodding, allowing him to approach her slowly as he pulled her into his chest and his lips pressed soothing kisses against her forehead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not gonna lie this chapter was a little harder to write but hope it was good. No beta, mistakes get fixed by me eventually lol


	6. Redfield

She had been home for a week; those first few days had been a mix of desperately being glad they were together and then fighting due to their own personal traumas before deciding to get help. They had been given a week before the Redfield siblings came to visit because Jill had asked Claire for her help to dye her hair and Chris had wanted to check up on them.

Carlos had met Claire briefly before but they never really had a chance to talk since he had wanted as little to do with her brother as possible and so would have been actively trying to finish his conversations with the former S.T.A.R.S. member as quickly as he could.

Jill had jumped nervously beside him on the couch when there was a knock at the door, the two of them cautiously looked out the window and Jill visibly relaxed when she recognised Chris' car. Carlos had made them all a cup of coffee and they sat together at the kitchen table for about a half hour to catch-up.

Carlos didn't involve himself in the conversation too much unless he was asked a question; he much preferred to observe Jill interacting with the other two. She had perked up some as Claire chattered excitedly about a new colleague she had met and Chris ribbed his sister while Jill chuckled along.

"Yeah yeah, laugh it up now but we'll soon see when you get a fine man of your own." Claire teased, eyes throwing a pointed look his way and Carlos hid a secret smile into his mug when Jill choked as her cheeks turned a little pink.

The women headed upstairs before long, leaving Carlos alone with Chris as they quietly sipped their coffees at opposite ends of the table and he chewed his lip thoughtfully. He struggled with himself in the silence, he really had treated the man horribly over the past couple of years and he had to acknowledge that Chris had been actively looking out for him.

"Hey uh…I just wanted to say thank you." Carlos started softly, Chris looked over at him and nodded with a modest shrug. If he was surprised by that, he didn't show it but Carlos knew this conversation had been a long time coming so he swallowed his pride and cleared his throat. "And uh…I also wanted to apologise to you."

"What for?" Chris asked calmly, eyes scrutinising him and Carlos set his mug to the side as he straightened in his seat.

"I'm sorry for treating you the way I did. I shouldn't have blamed you for what happened…I _know_ it wasn't your fault…It was just easier, y'know?" He explained honestly, shrugging guiltily but refusing to be a coward about it and making sure to look Chris in the eye.

"I understand." Chris replied with a little shrug. "I blamed myself so it wasn't like it wasn't deserved." He added with a rueful grin and Carlos shook his head in denial, swallowing with remorse as he realised that he'd probably been adding to the other man's pain.

"You shouldn't blame yourself man. Jill made a choice…There's _no one_ who can stop her from doing what she wants; not even the great Chris Redfield." He joked half-heartedly and Chris huffed out a quiet laugh, looking down at his mug contemplatively before meeting his eyes again.

"Look Carlos, you don't have to apologise for hating me. I _knew_ you were a good man under all that anger and I _had_ just gotten the woman you loved killed." He stated with a knowing look and Carlos ducked his head with a sigh.

"Yeah well…Hating you made it easier than hating myself." Carlos offered with a self-deprecating shrug.

"I get it." Chris replied with a sympathetic smile before he held out his hand. "Start over?"

Carlos grinned warmly, reaching over to shake the other man's hand. He felt lighter as he let go and both of them headed into the living room when he suggested watching the game on TV while they waited for the girls to join them. They bonded over their dislike of the opposing team and joked about their respective teams winning the league…It was nice to not be so at odds with the man...at least not seriously.

Carlos smiled when he heard the sound of the girls coming back down the stairs, giggling and chattering together but he soon frowned as Claire entered the room alone with a flourish and stood in front of him.

"Alright Carlos." She stated with a grin. "Up you get!"

"What?" He asked in confusion and the Redfield sister slumped dramatically.

"Get up." She demanded, gesturing for him to hurry and he looked over at Chris for help but his new found friendship with the man merely earned him a helpless shrug and a smirk so he sighed and stood up.

"Alright, I'm standing." Carlos said and waved his hand half-heartedly. "Now what?" Claire rolled her eyes, a smirk tugging at her lips before she left the room and left him feeling even more perplexed.

"Claire, this is stupid." He heard Jill hissing and he couldn't prevent the bemused smile from growing on his face as he shifted in place.

An amused "it's gonna be fine," sounded before Claire was back in the doorway. "Brother, drum roll please." She demanded at her brother and Chris rolled his eyes before making a faux drum beat. "May I present the Lady Jillian." She started in a faux English voice.

"I hate you." Jill growled from behind the door.

"Can't hear you m'lady, I'm presenting." Claire chuckled as she bowed and held her hand out to get Jill to walk in.

"I swear if you weren't Chris' sister, I would murder you." Jill stated as she stepped into the room, Carlos almost swallowed his own tongue as he looked her over. Her hair was back to its familiar brown colour, if a little lighter due to dyeing over blonde, it had been curled in nice waves and she was wearing minimal makeup that made her eyes pop. She was wearing a pretty blue dress that came up to just below her neck so her wounds weren't visible and stopped just above her knee. Carlos had _never_ seen that dress before in all the time they had lived together so even though he was blown away by what he was seeing he was also a little confused as to where they had even found it.

"It's a good thing I am Chris' sister then, isn't it?" Claire's smug retort snapped him out of his staring and Jill merely rolled her eyes at the Redfield sister but he could tell that whatever this was it had made her happy; she was practically glowing which was a rarity since she had been home.

"Wow, so you _do_ own a dress." Chris joked and Jill stuck her finger up at him as Claire snickered, her eyes glanced at Carlos with a self-satisfied smirk as his eyes had strayed back to Jill and he was ninety percent sure he was blushing. Jill looked over at him when Claire nudged her with her elbow subtly and she smiled shyly at him.

"So." Claire stated, dragging out the word in a playful tone. "Don't you think Jill looks nice Carlos?" She asked and he suddenly forgot how to speak when Jill smirked as her eyes sparkled with mischief.

"Uhh…" Carlos replied eloquently before shaking himself. "You look amazing Jill." He felt self-conscious in front of company but Jill took pity on him and smiled softly.

"Thank you." She murmured, fond eyes letting him know they would talk later before she turned to Claire. "And thank _you_ , I think I needed this." Jill said with a warm grin.

"You're welcome Jill." Claire replied as her face softened. "I'm just so glad you're okay and hey, being a girl every once in a while isn't so bad?" She chuckled lightly, carefully hugging Jill so as not to mess up her hair. He could tell Jill was moved by it as she had turned her head away and it looked like she was dabbing her eyes.

The two Redfields decided to leave then, Chris and Jill went out to the hallway to talk quietly amongst themselves and Claire looked him over curiously while she waited for her brother.

"Hey, treat her right okay?" She told him quietly with a small smile and he nodded sincerely.

"I'm sorry we never really had a chance to talk before." Carlos said remorsefully but Claire shook her head with a light shrug.

"It's cool, Chris told me what happened and he said you were a good guy…just a little heartbroken." Claire murmured, an apologetic smile appeared on her face when he frowned at that and she sighed quietly. "You've both been through a lot; Jill tells me you guys are thinking of retiring?"

"Yeah." He replied with a fond grin. "There's only so many heads of a serpent you can cut before you just can't do it anymore." Carlos mumbled with a dismissive shrug and Claire frowned thoughtfully.

"You ready to go?" Chris called to his sister as he suddenly appeared at the doorway before Claire could say anything else and she nodded. "Great, let's go."

"We'll be back soon." Claire promised, giving Jill another hug before holding her fist out for Carlos to bump and he did with a bemused chuckle.

"Take care of yourselves." Chris said, offering out his hand for Carlos to shake which he accepted gratefully and with that the Redfield siblings left.

Carlos glanced at Jill after the door had closed, his hand raised to touch one of her curls and she smiled up at him warmly.

"You look beautiful." He murmured tenderly and her eyes glittered as she tilted her face invitingly in response. He didn't need to be asked twice so he leaned down and pressed lips to hers. Her hands slid up his chest, coming to rest on his shoulders as he placed his own on her waist and held her like she was made of glass.

They spent the rest of the evening eating ice-cream on the couch and watching some movie that Jill had mentioned was her favourite. She had curled her legs up under herself and was leaning into his side as they had the tub placed between them on their laps.

He never said anything to Jill about his conversation with Chris but the former S.T.A.R.S. member must have because that night she smiled at him proudly, positively beaming and cuddled closer to him in bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was originally gonna just call this chapter Chris because I am obsessed with Rabtoons impersonation of Wesker saying Chriiiisss but it wouldn't fit lol. This was a bit of a lighter chapter but I wanted a Chris resolve and Claire and Jill friendship!


	7. Date

Two months after Jill came home, things were looking up and Carlos honestly couldn't remember a time when he had ever been this happy. Both of them had been going to their therapists once a week; they had been focusing on working on themselves and their relationship, dipping into their savings before they would be ready to look for jobs that didn't involve fighting for their lives.

Communication between them had been good but it wasn't perfect, not when Carlos still had trouble talking to Jill about certain issues for fear of her pushing him away and Jill had problems with trust but they were trying to get there.

Carlos brushed a hand through his growing hair as he tried to somewhat style it for the day, Jill's therapist had suggested she worked on leaving the house more often so they were going out to dinner in the city and he sighed worriedly as he could hear her pacing downstairs.

They were a work in progress.

"Are you ready to go?" He called out to her as he finished up and she chuckled tensely.

"I'm waiting on you." She shouted back and he smirked as he headed towards the stairs.

"Yeah yeah, I'm coming I'm coming." Carlos replied fondly and she gave him a relieved smile when he came into view as her hands twisted together. "It's gonna be fine."

"Of course it is. I'm Supercop." Jill replied sarcastically but her voice was strained. "I'm not nervous, you're nervous. Shut up." She added a little too quickly, avoiding his gaze when Carlos stepped towards her to gently take her hands into his.

"It's just dinner." He murmured softly. "We're gonna get in the car and go to dinner, after that we're gonna take a walk in the park and come home."

"Right." She exhaled and nodded, biting her lip as her eyes met his and he gave her a reassuring smile.

"If it helps, you look great." Carlos added cheekily and she rolled her eyes fondly. Jill was wearing a plain blue t-shirt and shorts, a practical pair of boots adorned her feet and her hair was plaited to one side…if he didn't know any better, he'd say she was getting ready for a fight but this was her armour and he wouldn't begrudge her that.

"You don't look so bad yourself." Jill replied playfully, he grinned and ducked his head in faux shyness as he looked down at his open shirt over a t-shirt combo.

"This old thing? Why thank you very much Miss Valentine." Carlos replied with a flirtatious smile and Jill rolled her eyes again as she gave him a light shove, being careful not to hurt him too much because of his leg.

"Ugh not Miss Valentine, you know I hate that." She complained lightly, he smiled apologetically and leaned in to kiss her on the cheek.

"Sorry Supercop." He murmured and Jill gave him a loving smile to let him know he was forgiven. "You sure you wanna drive?" He asked as he looked her over, noting that she was biting the inside of her cheek nervously but she straightened and nodded with a determined face.

"I've got this." She promised. "Besides, you shouldn't even _be_ driving with that leg of yours…how you didn't crash that rental I will never know." Jill ribbed lightly and gave him a pointed look.

"Guess I'm just that good." He retorted smugly with a dismissive shrug and Jill merely chuckled quietly in response as she grabbed the car keys.

"Sure your head can even fit through the door?" She teased when he opened the door for her and he scoffed playfully.

"Well, I _was_ gonna suggest ladies first but I guess I see none here." Carlos pretended to move in front of her to let himself out but she pressed a hand against his chest and looked up at him smugly.

"I could always go to dinner alone." Jill murmured as her eyes widened innocently, Carlos' chest felt warm as she had obviously relaxed some and he pouted dramatically.

"And leave me here to starve? That's just cold." He joked but her eyes lit up, a grin tugging at her lips as she pretended to think about it before leaning up to kiss him quickly.

"Well I suppose I'll have to take you with me then…" She drawled with a put-upon sigh. "Wouldn't wanna live in a Carlos-less world right?"

"That would be too cruel." He replied fondly before gesturing for her to walk outside, her smile faltered minutely but her face softened when his hand gently stroked at her side and she was quick to grab it to pull him behind her.

Jill had been getting better with leaving the house, being a prisoner of Umbrella for three years had made her paranoid; even if she couldn't remember. She was working on it though, at first they would simply go out for a drive and she didn't have to leave the car which helped her gain confidence.

Driving was something she loved to do, it allowed her some semblance of control over where they went and for how long so he didn't mind being a passenger…It gave him plenty of chances to just observe her; the wind blowing through her hair when the windows were down, her eyes sparkling in the sunlight and the lazy smile on her face as her fingers would tap the steering wheel to the beat of the music playing on the radio.

He was officially banned from driving by his Doctor when he went to get his stitches taken out at the hospital, she had quite literally gasped when he admitted to driving there and told Jill that he was not allowed until she had cleared him when he went back for his checkups…Jill had been gloating in "I told you so"s ever since.

When they got to the city which was just about a half hour drive away, Jill pulled into the parking lot outside the restaurant they had chosen and turned the engine off. Neither of them moved and Carlos waited for Jill to stir as he hadn't wanted to push her…It was the first time they were going out to dinner and he would wait however long it took.

"I can do this." Jill said, more to herself than to him but Carlos reached over to give her hand a gentle squeeze before pulling it towards him to press his lips against her skin.

"You can." He stated quietly. "Do you know what you're gonna order?" Carlos asked to distract her, they found that having an 'action plan' for when they were outside helped soothe some of her anxieties and she bit her lip with a frown of concentration.

"I'm ordering the chicken alfredo." Jill replied as her eyes looked up into his nervously.

"Right and I'm getting spaghetti carbonara." He told her and she nodded once before taking a deep breath.

"Let's do this." She said, pulling back reluctantly and opening her door. Carlos followed suit and waited for her to walk around the car. He offered his hand for her to take as she approached which Jill accepted with a shy smile and they walked towards the restaurant.

Jill's grip on his hand tightened when they stepped inside, a young waitress greeted them politely at the door and Carlos gave her a friendly smile. "Two for Oliveira." He said knowing Jill wasn't ready to speak yet and the young woman nodded before leading them to their table. Carlos pulled out Jill's seat and she smiled warmly at him as she sat down before he eased himself onto the chair opposite her.

"This isn't so bad." She murmured when Carlos reached over to slide his hand back into hers and he gave her a comforting squeeze.

"Doesn't hurt when your view is as good as this." He teased and winked at her, Jill rolled her eyes with a snort but it was short-lived when a waiter suddenly appeared and she barely contained her jolt of surprise.

"Can I get you anything to drink?" The waiter asked cheerfully.

"Can we just have a jug of water for the table please?" Carlos asked politely.

"Of course, I'll have that with you in a few moments." He told them and hurried off to the next table.

"You alright?" Carlos whispered to her as she had been clutching his hand tightly, she nodded in response and bit her lip anxiously. "Hey, I'm right here with you okay?" He assured her and she nodded again, grip relaxing slightly.

The next time the waiter showed up; setting their water on the table before taking their orders, Jill fared a lot better as she ordered for both of them this time and smiled proudly to him when the waiter had walked away.

Conversation between them was easy, they talked about their favourite TV shows and movies and which characters were their favourites. They steered clear of anything that could relate back to what they had been through as today was strictly about having a positive experience and they didn't want to associate it with anything negative.

They finished their dinner relatively quickly and Carlos stuck his hand up for the check as they had agreed on not having dessert…There was a huge tub of ice-cream in the freezer at home with their names on it as a reward for completing their day out anyway so once they paid (Jill insisting on paying half) they walked out to the car.

"How do you feel Supercop?" He asked her when they got settled and she smiled proudly before puffing out a breath.

"I feel so full…do we have to go for a walk? I'd rather take a nap on the couch." Jill complained half-heartedly and Carlos smirked over at her.

"How about this? We go to the park and walk for ten minutes… _then_ we go home and nap on the couch." He bargained and she rolled her eyes with a put-upon sigh.

"If we must." She drawled as she started the car and began to drive in the direction of home. The park was a ten minute drive away from their house so it wasn't long before they approached a decently sized park with a duck pond and a five-mile nature trail. There was no way that they could manage the five miles but they could at least see some ducks and walk around Carlos thought as Jill pulled into a parking spot.

"Come on Jill, surely a little exercise won't take you out." Carlos grinned when she let out a little groan and rolled her eyes before they finally moved to get out of the car. Not only was going outside for walks good for Jill, they were also good for Carlos as his leg was still giving him trouble but he needed to keep active and the fresh air didn't hurt.

"The swan is back." Jill commented as they got a little closer, a group of children were throwing bread out to the ducks near the edge of the pond and a swan was swimming nearby, watching with interest.

"Swans are evil." Carlos grumbled bitterly, grimacing when she laughed at him and gripped his hand to pull him with her as she wanted to get a better look at the creature.

"I'm sure they're not that bad you big baby." She chuckled fondly.

"Yeah you laugh now but that thing will attack at some point just you wait." He replied hotly and Jill merely rolled her eyes playfully.

"Don't worry, I'll protect you from the big bad swan." Carlos grinned when they walked past the kids and headed towards the rest of the park, for all her complaining Jill knew he still needed to walk around for a bit so they walked.

A loud metal clang echoed loudly in the park as the gate to the children's play area was slammed shut by an enthusiastic child and Carlos jolted. His vision became dim for a moment, Jill paused as she glanced up at him worriedly and he shook himself before giving her a reassuring smile.

"You alright?" She asked with a furrowed brow.

"I'm fine, don't you worry Supercop." He replied quietly, they were having a good day. He wasn't gonna dampen it now.

"Maybe we should go home?" Jill suggested, tone telling him she didn't believe him but in all honesty he didn't feel safe where they were so he swallowed nervously and nodded.

They got in the car quickly and headed home. Once inside, Jill hurried to the freezer as Carlos went to set up the couch so they could lay back while he rested his leg and she swiftly joined him with their ice-cream.

"Hey." She said before he could turn on the TV and he looked over to her. "Are you sure you're okay? You seemed kinda weird earlier." Carlos stared at her earnest eyes as she watched him in concern and he offered her a small smile.

"I'm good." He murmured. "Just got a little spooked is all." Carlos shrugged dismissively, leaning in to kiss her gently before she could say anything else. His hand smoothed up her arm, stopping to cup the side of her neck and he tilted his head to the side to deepen the kiss.

Jill responded in kind, her own hand brushed through his hair and she bit his bottom lip delicately before pulling back. "Just so you know." She began, her thumb stroking his cheek as she looked up at him a little sternly with a glint in her eyes. "That won't always work."

Carlos grinned sheepishly as Jill pulled back, letting him know she was letting it go for now but the subject was by no means dropped and he turned on the TV as she opened up the tub and handed him his spoon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope this wasnt too terrible lol :)


	8. Support

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning... Smut ahead. If that's not your thing. Skip.

The helicopter was running dangerously low on fuel, Carlos wasn't sure where they were but he would have no choice but to land otherwise they would be crashing. He turned his head to Jill to see if she was okay, she hadn't answered his question and after Racoon City had crumbled to ash she had gone silent...he was worried.

"Hey Jill?" He called out to her.

 _Silence_.

"Jill?" He called again. He frowned when she didn't reply, torn between wanting to land the helicopter to check on her and getting them as far away from that hellscape as possible.

He flipped a couple of dials overhead and began to make his descent, aiming for an open field. That was when he had heard it; a familiar throaty growl.

Carlos looked back quickly but Jill was still sitting where she had been, peacefully dosing after her ordeal and he shook himself as he slapped his face a little to keep himself alert. They were still quite far from the ground, it seemed to take a long time and his head shot to the side when he heard it again.

Jill was still there, seemingly asleep and the scratches on her face stood out in the sunlight as she breathed. Carlos worried then that maybe something was on the helicopter and they had inadvertently brought it with them. He couldn't land the helicopter quick enough, it was still descending, far from the ground and he took deep even breaths to keep himself calm.

The helicopter suddenly stuttered in place, a tentacle gripping to the landing feet of it and Carlos checked to make sure Jill was safe but she hadn't moved. He turned the vehicle left and right, anxiety pooling in his gut as he desperately tried to shake them loose and put as much distance between Jill and that seemingly unkillable bastard as possible.

"Fuck!" He shouted as the source of the growling finally appeared, Tyrell was dragging himself along the floor towards him and he struggled to breathe as he desperately tried to keep a hold of the flight controls, still fighting with the tyrant.

His hand reached down for his pistol, the other keeping a shaky grip on the yoke and he took aim at his friend. Tyrell looked up at him, deadened grey eyes and growling bloody lips with nashing teeth aiming for him.

"I'm sorry." Carlos murmured, he tried to steady his shaking grip and he bit his lip as he pulled the trigger but it clicked…he was out of ammo. Tyrell pounced for him but he managed to kick his friend away and turned only to see a zombified Jill lunging for his face.

Carlos shot up in bed with a desperate gasp. He panted heavily, feeling sweat cooling down his back uncomfortably and he tried to take deep even breaths to calm himself. Turning his head to the side, he felt nothing but relief to see Jill's sleeping form curled on her side away from him and he wiped a sweaty hand down his face before getting out of bed as quietly as possible.

Nightmares were a thing Carlos was well-used to. Especially after Jill had…not died…gone missing. In those three years, Carlos had seen horrors even worse than Racoon City and he really only had himself to blame for putting himself through that.

He sighed as he headed into the bathroom to splash his face with cold water, the cooling liquid waking him up a bit and assuring him that this was reality. Carlos had been struggling with that lately…knowing what was real.

His therapist was helping but Rome wasn't built in a day so he could only do so much. Carlos debated going back to bed, he didn't wanna risk waking Jill considering she had nightmares of her own so he headed downstairs to watch some TV. He turned on the lights as the shadows had been playing tricks on him and settled down on the couch.

He had only been downstairs about ten minutes before she came looking for him, sleepily flopping down on the couch to curl into his chest and he was quick to put his arms around her.

"You wanna talk about it?" Her voice was muffled and he smiled softly as he squeezed her tightly.

"Just a bad dream." Carlos murmured and she pulled back a little to gaze up at him with drowsy blue eyes.

"The same one?" Jill asked worriedly and Carlos nodded, averting his eyes as he knew it would only make her feel guilty. "I'm sorry." She whispered softly, leaning in to press a gentle kiss to his neck.

"Don't be." He mumbled. "It's not your fault." Carlos tenderly kissed the top of her head before burying his face in her hair and the two settled into each other's company.

It wasn't the first time this had happened, and sometimes it would be Jill sitting downstairs and Carlos having to go in search of her. It brought them closer, even if their dreams could sometimes be about the other in a negative light.

They fell asleep where they were as Jill was still tired and Carlos had simply relaxed into her warm comforting presence. In the morning, he stirred when he felt the ticklish sensation of her fingers drawing meaningless patterns against his chest and he slowly opened his eyes.

"Morning sunshine." She teased, knowing he wasn't always a morning person and he grumbled tiredly as his arms pulled her a little closer.

"It's too early." He mumbled, his eyes closing again as he turned his head into the back of the couch to try and block out some of the light and she chucked softly.

"Wake up." She sing-songed, her hand began brushing through his hair and he sighed contently.

"Don't wanna." Carlos replied a little petulantly, Jill exhaled a laugh and rubbed her face into his chest.

"I know you don't but it's time to get up…I'm hungry." She said softly and he huffed as her hand playfully tugged on his hair a little. "I'll make it worth your while." Jill offered as she leaned up to delicately take his earlobe between her teeth and he felt himself twitching slightly as his breath hitched and hands gripped her back.

"That's not fair." Carlos complained quietly, opening his eyes look at her with betrayal but she merely bit her lip with a mischievous smile.

"Breakfast." She demanded with a fond grin and Carlos sighed in defeat.

"Fine…but I will remember this." He said with a teasing scowl, Jill merely rolled her eyes as she stuck out her tongue and Carlos leaned forward quickly to suck the appendage into his mouth. She pulled back with a startled laugh as Carlos smirked before leaning in to kiss her chastely and he pulled back to cup her cheek. "You're a menace Jill Valentine."

"I thought that's why you loved me?" She replied innocently and he grinned fondly.

"You got that right." Carlos murmured, kissing her forehead before taking in a deep breath and blowing it out in defeat. "Right, let's go." He added, as he gestured for her to stand which she did and offered her hand down to help pull him up.

"I want bacon." Jill told him with a pleading grin, Carlos rolled his eyes and allowed her to drag him into the kitchen.

Whenever either of them had a nightmare, they never acknowledged it in the light of the next day. No, they worked hard at distracting each other from the horrors their minds had conjured up and would be a comforting presence at the other's side.

"The things I do for you." He teased as he oiled up the frying pan and placed it on the stove. Jill curled her arms around him from behind and kissed his shoulder blade gently, he turned his head to meet her eyes and she smiled fondly.

After breakfast, Jill slipped her hand into his with a suggestive look in her glittering blue eyes and she began to tug him upstairs while he followed behind mesmerised. She led them into the bathroom, letting go of his hand so she could turn on the shower and he watched her with a hooded gaze as she approached him with a shy smirk on her face.

Jill reached for his hands and slipped them onto her waist under her shirt as her own moved to brush against his bare chest. Carlos' fingers danced along her ribcage, thumbs caressing the skin under her breasts and his eyes met hers for permission. She bit her lip softly, her hands reaching down to pull off her shirt and his breathing stuttered as she pressed her naked chest against him.

Carlos leaned in then to meet her waiting lips, her hands sliding up to cup his neck and grip at his hair as one of his own gripped onto her side and the other brushed against the smooth skin of her breast. She let out a soft noise as his thumb stroked against her nipple and all remaining blood in his brain travelled south as his lips left hers to kiss along her cheek, her jaw and then her neck.

Jill titled her head to give him more access, fingers tightening in his hair and she swallowed thickly as her hand began to travel down towards his pyjama pants.

"Off." Jill demanded breathlessly, reluctantly pulling away and looking up at him hungrily. Carlos didn't need to be told twice, he bit his lip and reached for the waistband of his pants, easing them down his legs as his cock sprung free. Jill grinned giddily, slipping her own pants and panties down her legs before stepping back into the shower and holding her hand out for him to join her.

Carlos followed her into the spray, eager hands reaching for her as she moved forward to press her lips to his chest and her sparkling eyes met his with a bashful grin. Their lips met again fervently, his fingers gently clawing at her hips as he pulled her closer and Jill let out a soft sigh as he moved to suck gentle marks into the skin of her neck.

She chuckled breathlessly when she moved her hand to simply brush against his length and he huffed a noise into her skin. He moved to kiss her again, licking into her hot mouth and she released a throaty moan as he pressed her against the wall and his thigh slipped in between her legs.

This wasn't the first time they had done something like this but it would be their first time in the shower and there was something about the warm water pelting down on them whilst the steam surrounded the small space that made the experience more ethereal.

Carlos slid his hand up to her breasts, fingers playing with a sensitive bud on one side and his lips began to kiss a trail down towards the other, he felt a warm wetness against his knee as she breathed hotly into his ear and moved her hips against him.

"Carlos." She breathed when he slid a hand down her stomach, fingers drawing teasing patterns against her skin as they slipped lower and Jill's hand reached down to grip his hair as she dragged him back to her lips.

He gave her what she wanted then, his fingers reaching down to rub against that bundle of nerves and she moaned softly into his mouth. Carlos smiled into the kiss, fingers pressing further against her folds to teasingly dip into her entrance before coming back to play with that bundle of nerves again.

"Fuck." Jill sighed, her hand slipping down his chest to reach for his neglected cock and he grunted quietly as she slowly began to pump him. He retaliated by pressing two of his fingers into her and she moaned, breaking off to a gasp as he slowly eased them out before pushing them back in quickly.

One of her legs came up to curve around him, his free hand glided along her thigh and held it against him to help steady her as she coiled an arm around his neck. He moved closer and pressed his forehead against hers as she looked into his eyes warmly.

"Come on." She urged and he eased his fingers out of her, allowing her to guide his cock to her entrance and he pressed his lips against hers as he eased in. "God." She gasped as she accommodated against him, he took his time when entering her as he had wanted her to get used to the sensation; especially since the angle was new.

"You okay?" Carlos asked breathlessly, focusing on the warmth of her quivering walls surrounding him and trying not to lose it.

"Yeah yeah, move." She demanded desperately, so he did. He eased himself back slowly before pushing back in, keeping his hold on her thigh against his hip and her side as her fingernails dug into his back.

"Fuck." Carlos murmured, burying his face in her throat to suck lightly at her skin and he kept moving his hips at their steady pace while Jill gasped and moaned softly into his ear. The hand around her waist slipped down to cup her ass before it glided along her skin so he could press a thumb against that bundle of nerves while he picked up the pace and pounded into her core.

"Ah!" She exclaimed at that, eyes shooting open in surprise and he smiled breathlessly at her when her moans were coming quicker and steadily getting more high-pitched. "Fuck, fuck." Jill gasped and she jolted as her walls clamped down around him. Carlos pressed his lips to hers quickly to kiss her through it as he felt his own peak approaching and he pulled out quickly with a choked grunt as he came across her stomach in white hot spurts.

Carlos pressed his forehead against hers as they panted into each other's mouths, they were too out of breath to kiss but the intimacy of the action was enough and Jill smiled at him as her eyes sparkled with tenderness.

"I love you, Jill." He murmured warmly. She sighed softly in response, her arms circling around his neck and she gave him a gentle kiss.

"I love you too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I regret nothing...well there's a little regret but not a lot.
> 
> A/N. So I've edited this quite a lot, hopefully I got all mistakes. Took a break for a bit due to everything. Should be back with the next chapter soon.


	9. Control

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally back after a like what 2/3 week break? This chapter is the longest so that should hopefully make up for it. Will be fixing mistakes after.

"You gonna be alright without me?" Jill teased as she was standing in front of the hallway mirror and tying up her hair whilst Carlos watched from the kitchen doorway.

"I'm sure I can cope for a few hours." He replied in a playful tone, he was glad she wasn't looking at him because he knew he couldn't hide the anxiety from his face very well and he shook himself a little.

"You sure?" She asked, looking over with a smirk and Carlos nodded in response.

"Hey, what's a few hours?" Carlos said with a half-hearted laugh. If Jill noticed anything, she was nice enough not to comment but she walked over to him and pressed herself against his chest.

"I'll text you when I get to Chris'" She murmured as she looked up at his face with a reassuring smile.

"Go. Don't worry about me." He told her gently, tightening his hold on her minutely before pressing a soft kiss against her lips and then he let her go.

"Don't miss me too much." Jill said with a small smirk, walking backwards a few steps and he chuckled lightly at her.

"Go." He told her again, rolling his eyes fondly and she finally turned towards the front door.

"Love you." She called as she walked out and the door slammed closed behind her.

"Love you too." Carlos murmured quietly, his smile falling from his face in the wake of her absence and he bit his lip worriedly.

He waited for the telltale sounds of their car pulling out of the driveway before he immediately turned towards the broom cupboard and pulled out the cleaning supplies. Carlos wouldn't say he was completely germaphobic; there were plenty of instances on jobs where he would be covered in god knows what and it never seemed to bother him…but shortly after Jill had gone missing he had developed a kind of…habit, one could say.

He had spent the first few weeks cleaning the house…breaking things in his grief…and re-cleaning the house for something to do before he couldn't stand to be there anymore. He contacted an old friend for the next job and he was on a flight a few days later.

Control was something he never realised he cared about until the cleaning had started, a lot of things in his life was out of his control and he thought he was good with that but cleaning…that was something he could control so it became a coping mechanism. He didn't think it was a problem, the compulsion was the only thing he could see as a _potential_ problem but so what? Keeping things clean could only be a good thing right?

His therapist had posed a hypothesis; where everything in the house is clean just the way he wants it but there is one paper ball on the floor. What does he do? Carlos naturally said he would immediately pick it up and throw it in the bin but his therapist asked 'But what if you don't?' The thought was unfathomable, why wouldn't he? Anxiety had gathered in his gut at the thought. 'Or rather, what if you do something else and then you pick it up?' He still struggled with that but it made him feel just a tiny bit better.

After their disastrous walk in the park a few weeks before, they had spent the evening eating ice-cream and watching movies on the couch. Jill had suggested going to bed since she was tired but Carlos had told her to go ahead and he would join her later…He spent three hours sweeping and re-sweeping the floors before she finally came down to get him.

The compulsion he was currently having was caused by her impromptu trip to visit Chris, her therapist had suggested she try leaving the house without him so they wouldn't develop an unhealthy co-dependency and Carlos was one hundred percent in favour. Anything that could help her feel comfortable in her own skin could only be a good thing in his book, she had went out for a short drive without him and now she was driving out of town to visit Chris.

Carlos had no problem with her visiting her best friend, he trusted her and she was her own person. Carlos didn't need Control when it came to her.

The driving force behind this anxiety that he desperately tried to ignore was the last time she had ran after Chris…well. Carlos shook his head urgently, he went over to the CD player and turned it on. He swayed a little to the beat, trying to tune everything else out but the music and he began to clean.

He left a precariously stacked pile of magazines and books on the coffee table in the living room to be sorted through later before making his way upstairs to clean the floors. The gentle melody accompanied him as he moved, his leg pained him a little but it was easy to ignore as his focus was on eradicating every imaginary speck of dust.

Carlos was so transfixed on his task that he let out a surprised yelp when a loud bang sounded downstairs. He froze, ears straining to pick up any other sounds as his vision dimmed and his eyes flitted to his bedroom quickly when he heard a shuffling sound, the music had stopped and anxiety pooled in his gut.

"Jill?" He called out cautiously, wondering if she had maybe come back early but there was no response and he swallowed thickly. He had a gun strapped under his bed…he took a step towards his bedroom before he caught himself. "Get a grip man." He chastised himself.

Carlos gripped the broom in his hand and made his way downstairs as quietly as he could. He pressed himself against the wall before carefully peeking out into the hall but there was nothing there and he was starting to question his sanity. He cursed himself when he warily checked the living room and noticed some of the books had fallen on the floor…hesitantly leaving them where they were before walking to the kitchen.

"I'm really starting to lose it." Carlos murmured to himself when he realised the CD had skipped, he opened the player and checked the disc over which had an assortment of scratches from years of use. He put on a different CD and with a heavy sigh, he set the broom aside and sat down on the kitchen chair.

This was the longest Carlos had been home since that fateful day when Chris Redfield delivered the news that shattered everything. Almost three months had passed since the man had brought Jill back to him and although he had made peace with Chris...for Jill's sake and his own…he still struggled.

Because here was the thing that bothered Carlos the most…Jill hadn't died. Something he was forever grateful for but Carlos couldn't help that inkling of resentment…no matter how much he tried.

Carlos hadn't known Jill very long back in Raccoon City but there was something about her he couldn't help but admire and he went out of his way to help her. She hadn't trusted him at first, something he would later come to understand but she relied on him anyway and placed her trust in him when he could have betrayed her.

He scowered that burning hellscape, risking life and limb to find her. It was a compulsion. He had thought he would never see her again when she stepped on the train, smiling amusedly at his shitty joke and he made peace with that as long as she would be safe. Then she called him to tell him the train had been derailed, all the people they had saved had died for nothing and his captain Mikhail…

He didn't think, he couldn't think. He searched everywhere he could think of to find her and when he did…His heart had clenched in his chest as he had thought her dead, relieved to find she was still alive and his first thought was Bard and his vaccine. Fuck the mission, _Jill_ was the priority.

Carlos didn't know her well, did he like her? Of course he did, she was beautiful and feisty. Not afraid to stick up for herself and for what she believed in. So if that was how he felt in the _very_ short time he had known her…How then? How could someone who had known her for _years_ just give up in his search?

It would do him no good to think like that. After all, had he not forgiven Chris Redfield? Had he forgiven him? He had thanked him and apologised but did he forgive him?

 _No_.

It might not have been Chris' fault that Jill had sacrificed herself for him. But Carlos had had trouble reconciling Chris' actions after the fact.

He felt guilty then, one side of him warring with the other because logically, Carlos wasn't there. He had no idea what the place looked like, if the drop really was as big as Chris made it out to be and how he could make his way down without falling to look for her. If he was even _able_ to look for her.

But the other side of him; dark, resentful and bitter…Stoked from years of hostility. It still hated the man for abandoning her. Carlos knew he wouldn't have stopped, not even for a second if it were him. He would have tore down every tree, every rock…He would not have stopped until he found her…dead or alive.

His eyes flicked up to the fridge, there were a few beers still left in there and he bit his lip thoughtfully. It would be a terrible idea to drink and have Jill come back later only to find him drunk and melancholic…He made coffee instead.

Carlos had been drinking considerably since that day, he didn't need it anymore… _especially_ not alone.

He supposed he couldn't be blamed for his tumultuous relationship with Chris Redfield. Anybody on the outside would say he was jealous of the other man's closeness with Jill but that couldn't be further from the truth…Well at least now anyway.

After he and Jill had escaped from the burning ashes of Raccoon City, he had flown them as far as the helicopter would take them before he was forced to land in a field about a mile or two from a small backwoods town.

Jill insisted on walking unassisted, even though the adrenaline she had been running on had tapped out as she was limping and a little hunched over. He fared no better, Nikolai had done a number on him as the man had been waiting for him after he left Jill to deal with the monster and like an idiot he allowed him to get the jump on him. When he came to, he panicked when he realised the man was gonna kill her and he threw whatever he had left into protecting her.

They managed to find the only motel in town, scraping enough money together between the two of them to pay for a room with two beds and locked themselves away as the dismissive clerk watched them with a glare.

Carlos had suggested Jill go to the hospital when she let out a groaning hiss as she sat on her bed but she refused.

"Umbrella was able to send that bastard after S.T.A.R.S. members, if they're able to make something like that, they're gonna find out I'm at the hospital." She had told him with an exhausted puff of breath.

"I'll stay at the hospital with you. I'll keep you safe." He promised but she shook her head stubbornly. He had sighed and bit his lip before hissing when it irritated the cut on his lip and suddenly his own wounds began to take precedent.

Jill had looked him over, her eyes concerned. "You don't look too hot yourself." She murmured worriedly.

"Don't lie." He smirked playfully before moving to flop onto his own bed.

Everything had happened so fast, Jill used the payphone in town as Carlos kept a careful watch and Barry had set them up with a motel in a different town. Jill never mentioned leaving without him…so Carlos hadn't either and they came to the unspoken agreement that they were sticking together.

They had a few close calls, Umbrella had been quick to take credit for their quick and effective methods to save the world from the fate of Raccoon City but were sending out agents to get rid of any witnesses. It barely made the news but someone who had claimed to escape from the city and was blaming a nameless pharmaceutical company (the paper refused to print the name) was actively mocked and shamed as a conspiracy theorist and…committed suicide a few days later.

One of Carlos' old contacts had called him to warn him that his apartment had been tossed and torched, his neighbours had been beaten and questioned. "Whatever you do man, don't come back here. You must've pissed off someone seriously big."

A few weeks after their escape, Barry had set them up with a motel in Jacksonville and told Jill someone would be meeting with them the next day to take them to the next place. After that, Jill determinedly went through all the paperwork they had managed to scrape together for the millionth time and Carlos was at a loss for how she could be so focused all the time but then again…This had been personal for her.

That night he had awoken from a nightmare, for once Jill was still asleep and instead of risking waking her, he went outside to do a perimeter check. His gun felt heavy against his hip but he made sure it was hidden as he walked around the motel, eyes carefully scanning the dark parking lot and he had paused to take a deep breath in.

He struggled when arms grabbed him from behind, his heart thumping fast as adrenaline shot through his veins and he managed to throw his elbow behind him into his attacker's abdomen. The arms had let go automatically and he turned to fight but the other man was fast to recover, throwing a punch to his still-healing eye and he groaned as he tried to position himself between the enemy and their room.

Carlos had reached for his gun, but the man must have sensed he was favouring his ribs and he aimed a punch there before throwing the gun out of his grip. Carlos had panicked, this was a fight he was going to lose. He knew it, and all he could think about was Jill.

"Jill!" He shouted, he had been pushed back to their door and it was all he could do to block the assailant's entrance.

"Carlos?" He heard her call worriedly, he didn't notice the other man pause as his focus remained on her.

"Jill, run!" Carlos should have known better, there was the sound of her shotgun being cocked and then she was throwing the door open.

"Wait!" The man said, hands up and looking guilty. Carlos had frowned in confusion, none of the Umbrella agents they had run into before had ever hesitated to attack.

"What?" Carlos asked but Jill's angry scowl froze before a large grin had grown on her face.

"Chris?!" She called, Carlos had balked. This was Chris?

"Jill." Chris replied softly, she ran into the other man's arms and hugged him tightly.

"Barry never said it was you." She said, pulling back to look the former S.T.A.R.S. member over and Carlos sighed quietly as he was hurting in places he had just stopped hurting in.

"Yeah I got back from my trip a few days ago, Barry just filled me in and asked me to meet you. Wanted to keep an eye on the place in case Umbrella caught wind that you were here…" Chris stopped then and suddenly seemed to notice Carlos' presence. "I'm sorry by the way…didn't realise you were with Jill."

Carlos shrugged dismissively trying desperately to not take it personally as he moved over to collect his gun off the floor. When he stood, he moved to walk inside and leave them be but Jill stepped in front of him.

"Jesus Chris." Jill had said in a chastising tone as her hand lightly reached up to hold Carlos' cheek so she could get a good look at his eye. "He get you anywhere else?" She asked Carlos in a concerned tone, Chris ducked his head guiltily but Carlos shook his head.

"I'm fine." He murmured, pulling away from her gently. "It's cool man, I'm sure I'd have done the same thing." Carlos told Chris as he didn't want to get off on the wrong foot with Jill's best friend.

"No you wouldn't have." Jill replied fondly and Carlos grinned, chuckling quietly.

"Fine, I would have checked first." He replied playfully as he walked into the motel room. To his surprise, the other two followed him inside and he grabbed the first aid kit before heading into the bathroom.

He had heard Jill telling Chris to wait and she was suddenly pushing the bathroom door open.

"Alright, let me see." She stated, Carlos frowned at her but she merely raised a brow expectantly.

"I can do it myself." He replied softly. "You should go out and talk to Chris…"

"He can wait." Jill interrupted dismissively. "Right now I wanna make sure you're okay. _Don't_ say you're fine." She added the last part stubbornly as he opened his mouth to do just that and he sighed in defeat.

"Fine." He handed the kit over to her when she held out her hand and she had to set it to the side to help him lift his hoodie over his head. They had been jumped just a few days earlier by some lucky Umbrella agents and they had barely made it out of it…Carlos had been suffering the consequences when they had cracked a rib and _that_ was probably where his resentment for Chris Redfield started.

Jill had swallowed nervously as she stared at his skin, the bruising had just gotten worse and her fingers gently brushed over his ribcage as she tried to feel for breaks. Apologising when he let out a hiss, she looked up at him guiltily and he shook his head.

"Why are you sorry?" He had asked her softly, she shrugged and bit her lip as she looked off to the side.

"I dunno, I feel responsible. Maybe I should have reminded Barry to say I had company." She replied with a sigh.

"It's fine, alright? I've had worse." Carlos told her gently.

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?" Her eyes met his then, he could read guilt, worry and something else there…Something almost possessive and he bit his lip.

"I guess not." He replied ruefully.

They had stared at each other for a few moments, her hand had reached over to squeeze his and he gripped hers back as their fingers slotted together. His heart fluttered nervously as she gazed at him, he could tell that a war was brewing inside her and she seemed to catch herself. She pulled away to grab the first aid kit to treat his wounds and it was a few long minutes before she would meet his eyes again.

Carlos cringed when he took a sip of his coffee only to discover it had gone cold, he sighed tiredly and scrubbed his hands down his face. How long had he been sitting there, stuck in his thoughts? He didn't know but the urge to clean was back and he got up to wash his mug in the sink.

The sound of his phone ringing made him jump but he rushed over to the counter where he had left it to charge to answer it.

"Hello?" He answered curiously, he had forgotten to check who it was and he smiled with relief as a heavy weight he hadn't realised was there had suddenly lifted from his chest when he heard her voice.

"Carlos, are you okay?" She asked in a concerned tone.

"I'm fine why?" He replied and he heard her heave a relieved breath.

"I texted you like an hour ago to tell you I made it to Chris' and you didn't text back…Just saying that's a lousy way to treat a lady." Jill murmured playfully, he could tell there was a hint of truth in there as she worried about him too.

"Shit yeah, I left my phone on the kitchen counter. Sorry." Carlos murmured, feeling properly chastised and she chuckled fondly.

"Don't do it again." She teased. "I'm kidding, just wanted to check in should be home in an hour or two. Chris says hi."

"Cool, do you want dinner when you get back or have you eaten already?" He asked quietly and she hummed softly.

"I got dinner at Chris'" Jill replied, sounding guilty. "Make sure to make yourself something, I'll be home soon. Love you!"

"Love you too." He said and she chuckled happily before the call ended.

Carlos' mood had immediately improved, the urge to clean was less strong and he decided to watch some TV to pass the time until she would come home. He froze when he saw the books still on the floor, the familiar anxiety was a low ember and he reached down to pick them up and set them on the coffee table…he would put them away properly later…baby steps.

He awoke to the feeling of gentle fingers brushing through his hair and he blinked his eyes open to a familiar beautiful sight. He was lying on his side on the couch, Jill was sitting on the edge in front of his stomach and her eyes gazed down at him tenderly.

"Hey." He mumbled groggily and he offered her a sleepy smile.

"Hi." Jill murmured warmly, fingers continuing to card through his hair before moving down to stroke his cheek. "I missed you."

"Missed you too." Carlos breathed, his own hand raised to caress the skin of her arm and she leaned down to press her lips to his.

"Did you eat? Or did you just pass out on the couch." She grinned when he couldn't hide the guilty expression on his face. "I guess I'll have to feed you then." Jill added with a put-upon sigh, shaking her head when he opened his mouth to suggest otherwise.

Jill gave him another quick kiss, telling him to stay put before walking off to the kitchen. His eyes glanced at the coffee table and he noticed the books and magazines had been put away. He wondered absently if she knew they would bother him, his heart warmed at the thought and he breathed in deeply at how right everything felt when she was home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed :)


	10. Scar

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is like another talking/flashbackish chapter but next one should be more upbeat!

Carlos wasn't sure what caused him to stir awake, for once it wasn't a nightmare and it was still dark outside. He yawned and stretched his stiff limbs before rolling onto his other side. His arm reached out, seeking that familiar warm body to curl around but he frowned when all he was met with was cold sheets.

"Jill?" He mumbled, voice muffled by a pillow and his eyes blinked open in the darkness as concern gathered in his gut. Carlos pushed himself up, stumbling slightly with fatigue as he made his way out of the room in search of her and rubbed his eyes tiredly. When he saw no sign of her in her old room, he quietly headed downstairs and checked the living room.

Jill was staring off into space on the couch, her legs curled up under herself and there were tear stains on her cheeks. Carlos bit his lip worriedly but he moved forward and lightly sat down beside her, leaving enough space between them for her to reach out to him if she wanted.

They had their own needs when it came to nightmares, Carlos was more physically affectionate and it was something that comforted him but he'd learned that that wasn't always the case with Jill. Sometimes it would cause her to flinch or feel caged so he had learned to wait for her to come to him, and she would, he knew that much.

He leaned back on the couch as he waited, he had glanced at her once to check her over but made sure not to stare as he didn't want to upset her and he found himself gazing at the wood pattern on their coffee table.

It felt like hours before he felt the light touch on his arm, her fingers cold against his skin and he gradually looked over to her. She was crying silently but reaching out to him, staring down at where her fingers were touching and it honestly broke his heart to see her like that. He gently reached over with his other hand to stroke her wrist and her eyes finally met his.

He wanted, so desperately, to talk to her, to ask her if she was okay but he knew he should wait, she would tell him eventually. Cautiously, he raised the hand on her wrist up to her face and slowly cupped her cheek. It took a few seconds before she eventually leaned into his palm and he took that as his cue to gently wipe away her tears with his thumb.

Jill kept her eyes on his, all he could see was pain and it hurt him to see so much there. Jill was trembling as she tried to hold it all back, more tears fell from her eyes and Carlos couldn't help it…He spoke.

"Talk to me." He begged quietly. Jill stiffened, eyes closing as she tried to close herself off but his free hand gripped her arm gently. "Please Jill. I hate seeing you like this." Her face scrunched up bitterly as she pulled away from him and he let her, feeling defeated. They'd been through this song and dance before, he really should have known better but he couldn't help it.

She stayed quiet, sitting away from him but she hadn't left which was a good sign, one time she stubbornly locked herself in her room. He hadn't chased her or anything drastic like that but Jill wasn't one to be pushed into talking and Carlos wasn't very patient, though he tried to be.

He turned his head away, staring at a spot on the floor as he waited quietly. Jill hadn't moved and Carlos cursed at himself for pushing her. After a few minutes, he heard her shift and hazarded a glance as he worried she was getting up but she was looking at him guiltily.

"I'm sorry." She whispered miserably, he shook his head as his hand reached out but stopped just short of touching her.

"Don't be." He murmured delicately. "I'm sorry for pushing you." It was Jill's turn to shake her head then as she reached out to grip his hand and her eyes met his pleadingly.

"I…I had a dream…or maybe it was a memory, I'm not sure." She started softly and he watched her worriedly as she was basically clenched in on herself. "I was…" Her shoulders shook, he tensed. "I was hurting people." Jill let out a gasping sob as her free hand covered her face.

"Hey." Carlos called in a gentle voice, shuffling closer but trying not to crowd her and gripping her hand in his tightly. "Jill that wasn't you." He could feel tears welling in his own eyes in sympathy for seeing the woman he loved suffering so much.

"But it _was_ me." She said. "It was my hands that killed them."

"No!" He replied fiercely, he said it with enough force that it shocked her into looking up at him and she stared at him helplessly when he continued. "Jill, you were being controlled. No matter what you think, this doesn't change who you are. You are Jill Valentine! You are a good person okay?" He knew he sounded angry but he was just desperate for her to see her they way he did.

"But…" Jill murmured weakly, Carlos couldn't hold back then as he pulled her into his chest and held her close.

"Listen to me Jill." He begged. "You didn't go through all that bullshit to do this now, okay? You saved Chris' life and after that you were kidnapped and tortured and controlled for years. _Yes_ , they made you do horrible things but _you_ , the Jill I know, would _never_ have done those things. You couldn't control it, there is nothing you can do to change what happened but _please_ don't blame yourself for their actions. Don't let them win."

Jill was stiff in his arms for a few moments before she seemed to slump, her hands gripped at his back as she buried her face in his neck and hot thick tears splashed against his skin. He hugged her tightly, one hand coming up to wipe away his own before brushing through her hair.

They held each other close for a long time, it could have been a few hours before her tears were finally spent and Carlos kissed the top of her head when she let out a sigh and seemed to sag more heavily against him.

"Thank you." She whispered into his neck, pulling back slightly to meet his eyes and he kissed her cheek softly.

"Do you feel better at least?" He asked quietly, asking her if she was okay would be a stupid question but all the same, he hoped she got some of her grief out of her system.

"A little." Jill replied, voice hoarse from crying and he smiled lightly at her.

"That's good." He mumbled, stroking a hand up and down her back comfortingly. Jill stared at his face tiredly, eyes red-rimmed from crying and she reached up to stroke his cheek.

"Can I ask you something?" She asked, her thumb gently stroking along the scar there and her eyes flicked up to his.

"Anything." He said, he felt dread pool in his stomach as he had a feeling of where her question could lead but how could he deny her when she didn't hide anything from him?

"How did you get this?" Jill asked bluntly. In the six months since she'd been back Carlos had steered clear of this topic, despite her gentle probing and he let out a sigh as he averted his eyes but she moved to be in his line of sight. "Please."

"Jill…I..." He started, scrambling for something to say to get himself out of it but she shook her head with an earnest expression.

"Please." She murmured again, Carlos sighed in defeat and bit his lip.

"Promise me you won't think less of me." He pleaded softly, looking off to the side when she frowned but Jill pushed herself up so she could kiss him gently, just once before pulling back to meet his eyes.

"Carlos, I love you." She told him delicately. "You don't think any less of me so why wouldn't I do the same?"

Carlos shrugged helplessly. "You had no control, I'm ashamed to say I did." He replied, her expression sobered but she leaned in to kiss him again, more fiercely this time and it was all he could do to kiss back.

"Tell me." Jill said, eyes searching his and Carlos nodded. What else could he do? The conversation was long overdue and if he didn't tell her, Chris surely would…that is, if he hadn't already.

"Okay…" He murmured and swallowed thickly. "After you _died_ , I was kind of in a downward spiral…I took on mercenary jobs and never asked too many questions. I was drinking a lot…didn't really care what happened to me to be honest." Jill frowned, eyes worried as she carded her hands through his hair to coax him onward.

"About seven months after…I got a call from an old friend. Said he had a job from a friend of a friend if I wanted it…Took the job, Chris called me…I ignored it." He explained guiltily. "I uh…turned my phone off because he kept calling me, every job I had been on he would call and even though I made it clear I couldn't give a shit, he wouldn't take no for an answer so I always gave in and told him. Not this time."

"Chris can be…persistent when he wants to be." Jill offered softly and Carlos chucked humourlessly at that.

"Yeah…I think I was too far gone at that point." He replied with a helpless shrug. "Anyway this job, it was supposed to be a bodyguard job. Look after this rich asshole for a diplomatic event, in and out. It was supposed to be easy, another reason I wanted to ignore Redfield just this once…So I could just forget who I was for a little while."

Jill bit her lip sadly, pressing herself into his chest to comfort him as the hand in his hair slid down to cup his neck.

"So the job was for me and these other guys to guard this asshole…I'm not exaggerating either, he was a grade A douche and I was over his shit pretty quickly. Talked to us like trash, thinking he could treat us whatever way he wanted because he was paying us but I took it y'know? It was a job at the end of the day. Anyway, we're a few days in and we were ordered to accompany him to this event with other rich assholes with too much money to burn."

Carlos swallowed thickly, Jill must have noticed his nerves because she buried her face in his neck and hugged him tightly.

"So these rich assholes, they had all this illegal shit going on…dog fights and shit…but I was already stuck on the job, if I had tried getting out they'd think I was gonna go to the cops or something. I did nothing, just let it happen." He sighed bitterly, Jill brushed her hand soothingly down his chest moving so she could curl her hand around his and their fingers tangled together.

"He must've pissed off someone much richer and much more of a dick because the next thing I know, one of the other guys is jumping in to defend him against this other guy but I swear Jill…There was something wrong with him. He lifted our guy like he weighed nothing, and…" Carlos' free hand raised and clenched in front of him. "Just squeezed the guys head like…I don't think I'd ever seen anything so brutal."

"What about the others in your team?" She asked quietly.

"They were obviously spooked but I guess to them the money was worth it, they all jumped in to face this guy but it was obviously a losing battle and god, I fucking hated the guy we worked for but I couldn't just let the others die like that so I shot the guy…in the head…" Jill raised her head to look at him, she bit her lip in concern when he couldn't hide the terror from his face and her hand raised to stroke his cheek gently.

"And?" She whispered reluctantly.

"It stunned him…for like a few seconds. He'd been choking one of ours, holding him off the ground but he dropped him and I saw the inside of his head before it repaired itself and he just turned to me." Her eyes widened and Carlos could feel his breathing pick up as the memories of that day flooded his brain. "I backed up, the rest of our team that could still stand were left to defend our boss against more goons but I was a little preoccupied." He added with a helpless shrug.

"Was he a tyrant?" Jill asked, seemingly knowing where this was going and Carlos sighed anxiously.

"I'm not sure, he wasn't anything like what we'd seen in Raccoon City. He was tall but not unnaturally so, just looked like a regular bouncer at a nightclub or something but he was _strong_. Lifted me by the throat and I just raised my gun and unloaded onto his face…His face…God, it like opened in several places, like octopus tentacles but with teeth on either side and it was so close to me. I kept shooting until there was nothing left in the clip and he dropped me." She watched him with rapt attention, her hand squeezing his comfortingly and he sighed heavily.

"The others in my team were dead, the boss too. The guests were panicking, the 'diplomats' they were supposed to be visiting were nowhere to be seen so they had obviously orchestrated the whole thing…It was a bloodbath. I managed to get back on my feet, backed up to reload but I was too slow to aim because he grabbed me and threw me through a window, the glass cut my face and I struggled to get back up…" He averted his eyes from her then as he shamefully admitted. "I wanted to give up…I was going to give up."

"Carlos." She murmured worriedly, he looked back at her and swallowed thickly.

"Chris tracked me…I don't know how, I never asked which I suppose is a good thing considering I probably would have been pissed as hell…He brought a team with him to help the other survivors and he saved my life. Blasted that asshole to hell in two minutes. I was in too much shock at the time to really say anything." Carlos bit his lip then and he took a deep breath.

"He had me brought to a medic to take care of my injuries and then he lectured me for two hours about being reckless…How you wouldn't have wanted that for me." He felt that familiar shame building as his eyes welled with tears. "I'm sorry Jill."

"Don't apologise." She murmured softly, leaning in to kiss him chastely before she pulled back to look at him. "Chris was right, no matter what happened I wouldn't want you to stop taking care of yourself but that's in the past okay? I still love you." She added the last part playfully and he smiled weakly at her.

"I love you too. It was because of you that I started working for the BSAA. Once Redfield said that, I couldn't deny it and I just felt so ashamed…It felt like I was dishonouring you. He offered me the job, said it was safer and more legit than these merc missions I was going off to…he probably wanted to keep a closer eye on me as well but at that point he had saved my life and I was thinking of you so I accepted it."

"Thank you for telling me." Jill murmured gently, he squeezed her hand in response and nodded.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner." Carlos replied guiltily.

"You told me now, I don't feel any differently." She said with a fond smile tugging on her lips and Carlos felt warm as he leaned up to press his forehead against hers.

"I love you…so much." He stated hoarsely and Jill's grinned affectionately.

"I love you too…so much"

"Do you wanna go back to bed?" Carlos asked her softly, he could feel the emotional exhaustion creeping up on him and he smiled with relief when she nodded.

They headed upstairs and settled into their bed, it wasn't really just his anymore and hadn't been for a long time. He lay on his back as Jill curled into his side, her hair fanning over his shoulder as she buried her face in his neck and he drew meaningless patterns on her back with his fingers.

"We need a vacation." Carlos suggested, only half-joking and Jill let out a sleepy sigh against his neck.

"That sounds nice, where would you like to go?" She murmured, voice muffled by his skin.

"I dunno, the beach?" He offered and she chuckled drowsily.

"That would be nice." Jill replied.

"What about you?" He asked curiously.

Jill shrugged softly. "Somewhere with you."

Carlos smiled at that, his heart fluttering as he pulled her closer to him and pressed his lips to the top of her head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mistakes will be fixed at the weekend :)
> 
> Also since this chapter is called Scar maybe I should expand on Jill's nightmare a little more? I'll see when I'm fixing mistakes


	11. Healing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is super late. Also Smut in second half of chapter. If that is not your thing stop reading after they have room-service. You have been warned.

Carlos walked into the kitchen only to be met with the sight of Jill sitting on the floor and going through their suitcases for the fourth time. She didn't seem to notice him as she murmured silently to herself, ticking things off on her checklist and unpacking and repacking their things.

"Hey." He said in a quiet voice, crouching down so he could be at eye level and only cringing slightly as the wound on his thigh twinged. It was almost healed up, just the odd throb here and there if he moved a certain way and Jill was far more important. "You okay?"

Jill looked up at him distractedly, eyes flitting between him and the pages of her notebook. "Hmm? Yeah, I just wanna make sure we have everything."

"It's only for a few days, we have everything we need and even if we don't we can get whatever it is on the way." Carlos reasoned softly, reaching out to gently cover her hand with his when she kept looking at the contents of her suitcase and she froze.

"I just…I just don't want to forget anything." Jill replied with a hesitant sigh, he offered her a kind smile and his free hand moved to brush a lock of hair out of her face, tucking it behind her ear.

"I get it. I can help, if you'd like?" Carlos suggested in a comforting voice, she smiled gratefully at that and leaned over to kiss his cheek.

"Thank you." She murmured, he grinned lightly at her and gently took the notebook out of her hands to look over it himself. He knew they had everything but until Jill could agree confidently, he was going to do whatever it took to reassure her.

When they had decided to go on a vacation, Jill wasn't ready to fly abroad just yet and Carlos was fine with that. Truth be told, he was surprised that he wasn't more anxious about travelling but for those three years without her…anywhere was better than the emptiness of the house and so he became used to it.

Jill even had reservations about flying across the country, mainly because they wouldn't be allowed to bring weapons for self-defence and because she was still paranoid about potential Umbrella-like operations. So they were going to be taking the car, they had chosen Ocean City in Maryland as their particular destination…mostly because it had good reviews and it was only a couple of hours away.

They had just finished going over the contents of his suitcase and were about to move on to hers when his phone rang loudly on the kitchen counter. He handed the notebook back to her quickly and pushed himself off the floor. A small groan escaped him as his limbs were stiff and he smiled reassuringly at Jill when she looked him over worriedly before answering.

"Oliveira." He said.

"Captain! Long time no talk." Chavez greeted cheerfully.

"Hey, how are things with you? How's the team?" Carlos asked as he hopped up onto the countertop to sit, smirking at the fond eye roll Jill gave him and he listened attentively.

"Yeah we're great, everyone's doing good. Smith misses you though." Carlos snorted when he heard the hiss of 'shut up' in the background and he guessed the team must be gathered around the phone. "We were wondering when you and that bum leg of yours were gonna come back?"

Carlos bit his lip guiltily, he looked over at Jill as she went through her suitcase and checked over her notebook again...He didn't feel any regret over their decision…only remorse for leaving his team behind.

"I'm retiring." He murmured quietly, he could hear the various protests of his team in the background which confirmed his suspicions about being put on speaker and he sighed internally.

"What?! You can't! The Doc said it was a clean shot…or was that a lie?" Chavez, the obvious spokesperson for the group, complained.

"It's not a lie but I'm retiring anyway." He replied, Jill met his eyes with a concerned expression and she gestured, wondering if he wanted her to leave but he shook his head softly. "Listen guys, I know you might not want to hear this but I've wanted this for a long time-." Carlos explained but Brown cut him off.

"It's the first we're hearing about it Boss? Doc said the wound was clean, it would take like 6-8 months to heal and then you'd be back on the field." She said firmly and Carlos sighed guiltily. This time Jill stood, walking over to him to press herself into his chest comfortingly and his free arm curled around her waist as he held her close.

"Yeah well…something more important came up. You'll be fine without me alright? You'll get a new Captain or hell, one of you could be made Captain next. I'm sorry okay?" He replied gently, Jill pressed her lips to his shoulder as her hand rubbed up and down his side and he nuzzled his face into her hair.

"What could be more impor-." Chavez started incredulously but Jacobs interrupted.

"Leave it Joe…That's not our business."

"But he can't just leave?!"

"Yes he can." Another one of the team argued.

"What, so you're just gonna let him go like this?"

"If he doesn't want to we can't force him."

"But-."

"Enough!" Carlos said sternly before they could really start fighting amongst themselves, the line went quiet and he let out a tired sigh. "Alright, now listen up. Before I started working for the BSAA, I wanted to retire but shit happened and I took the job. After I got home from Afghanistan…" He paused, looking down at Jill who met his eyes with a reassuring smile. "Someone I thought I'd lost came back, you might not like it but it's my decision. Chavez, I'm not your captain anymore but you're in charge for now and I'll put a good word in with Redfield for you."

"But." Chavez said defeatedly.

"You guys are the best team a guy could ask for. Remember what I taught you, stick together and look out for each other." He stated gratefully. "And Smith? Stop playing video games and do some cardio for christ's sake."

That earned him a few chuckles and an embarrassed 'yes Captain' from Smith. The team bid their goodbyes and Carlos let out a relieved sigh when the call was over. He had been putting that off for a long time…at least it was over now.

"You okay?" Jill asked worriedly, Carlos set his phone aside and hugged her closely as both arms surrounded her shoulders.

"Never better." He replied softly, pulling back only so he could look at her and she smiled warmly at him before leaning in for a gentle kiss.

"You wanna eat now or when we get there? I think we have everything." She murmured against his lips, fingers tangling through his hair and she lightly pressed her lips onto the corner of his mouth, on his cheek and moved along to his jaw.

"Suppose I can survive 'till we get there." He mumbled distractedly, a pleasurable thrum flowing through his body as she pressed a lingering kiss to his throat and she pulled back with a smirk.

"Come on then, the sooner we get there, the sooner we can check-in." Carlos pouted playfully at her, sliding off the countertop to stand in front of her and she bit her lip to hide her smug grin.

"Let's go." He said, rolling his eyes fondly at her as he moved to pick up their suitcases and carried them out to the car.

Carlos drove this time, having finally been cleared by his Doctor and they spent the journey in a comfortable silence as the only noise was the music quietly blaring in the background. He had trouble keeping his eyes on the road as the windows were opened a crack and Jill was reading a book as her hair gently moved with the wind.

"Eyes on the road or you lose your driving privileges." Jill teased after he had turned his head for the third time, eyes not straying from her book and he chuckled sheepishly as he determinedly kept his eyes in front of him.

They made it to the hotel parking lot of Ocean City in good time, Jill looked around nervously but smiled when he reached over to take her hand and he leaned over to kiss her softly.

"You good?" He asked her, lightly pressing his forehead against hers and she nodded.

"Just a little nervous." Jill murmured, straightening in her seat as she took a deep breath in through her nose and let it out through her mouth. " _But_ …I am ready to relax and have a good time with you."

Carlos smiled fondly at that, feeling warmth blooming in his chest as he squeezed her hand gently and pulled it to his lips to press a kiss against her skin. "Good. Come on, maybe we can get some room service…The beach will still be there tomorrow."

"Right." She nodded, slipping her hand out of his so she could get out of the car and he followed suit. They checked-in at the front desk, Jill stayed close as he carried their suitcases to the elevator and they soon found themselves outside their room door.

"Lead the way Supercop." He grinned at her as she fumbled with the keycard, rolling her eyes as the door finally opened and they made their way inside. He set their luggage to the side, making his way to the balcony doors curiously as he wanted to check out the view and he smiled as he could see the waves crashing against the rocks at the base of a lighthouse in the distance.

Jill pressed herself against his back, arms sliding around his waist and she linked her hands together as she peered over his shoulder. He smiled fondly, his own moving to cover hers and he breathed out a content sigh.

"Hungry." She grumbled softly, voice muffled by his shoulder and he carefully turned in her grip to kiss the top of her head.

"Me too. Let's find the room service menu."

When their food arrived, they decided to eat it on the balcony. Carlos breathed in the fresh sea air, eyes closing contentedly as a gentle breeze blew through his hair and he opened his eyes again to look out at the water. His lips tugged in a warm grin when he felt her staring at him, she didn't look away when his eyes met hers, merely smiling around her fork as they ate in a comfortable silence.

They watched the sun set beyond the horizon quietly, their fingers tangled together over the table and Carlos felt at peace…not for the first time since she'd come back to him but his contentment was significant.

"This is nice." Jill murmured, her eyes soft when he turned to look at her and he squeezed her hand in response.

"Think we deserve it after everything." He replied in a gentle voice, it wouldn't be long before they would need to start regular people jobs so it was good that they were taking the time to do things like this while they still could.

"We do." She agreed, although she didn't sound very much like she believed it but he could tell she was trying and he offered her a reassuring smile.

They took turns getting in the shower, Jill didn't like the idea of them being vulnerable in a strange place which was understandable and they settled in bed that night to watch whatever late night shows were on the television…her gun sitting close by on the nightstand.

He sighed softly as her fingers lightly toyed with his chest hair, her head rested on his shoulder and she leaned in to kiss his neck. Carlos bit his lip, trying desperately to ignore the sensations she was causing and his hand tightened on her waist as her fingers travelled lower. He looked down at her, a playful smirk tugged on her lips and he huffed out a laugh…She knew _exactly_ what she was doing.

Before he could do anything though, Jill moved her leg over to straddle him and his hands automatically caressed her thighs. He looked up at her with a hooded gaze and couldn't help but be reminded of their first time. Carlos had wanted her to feel comfortable around him and so anytime he felt his blood travelling south he would move away from her…either to deal with his situation or take a very _very_ cold shower. After all, they had plenty of time for that when they'd healed…but evidently he'd waited too long because that time, Jill had quickly straddled him before he could escape.

She grinned at him despite his protests, she had to spend twenty minutes just assuring him she was ready before he gave in…although it was a very difficult twenty minutes as she had rolled her hips a few times in a tempting grind…much like she was doing now.

"Jill." He breathed, fingers tightening on her thighs and she leaned down so their lips could brush together. She didn't let up, both letting out quiet huffs as her hips moved against him and Carlos' hands smoothed up her thighs, over her backside and up until they came to rest at her cheeks.

"Fuck." Jill gasped, impatiently pulling back to pull off her pyjama top and lightly dragging her nails down his chest. Carlos groaned, his hands gliding up her waist so he could tease her nipples with his thumbs as his hands cupped her breasts. She moaned softly, gripping his hands to pull them away from her quickly and moving back so she could drag his pyjama pants off him.

"Impatient tonight aren't we?" He teased breathlessly, she grinned and chuckled lightly at him.

"Maybe." Jill replied with a dismissive shrug, hand hovering over his length and her eyes met his questioningly. Carlos sat up before she could touch him, smirking at her groan of disappointment and his lips met hers in a hungry kiss. He slid a hand down her side until his fingers teased at the waistband of her pants, he kissed a trail from her lips to her throat and bit down on her collarbone playfully.

Jill hummed a quiet moan, her fingers tangled in his hair and she pulled it lightly which sent nerves of pleasure to his centre.

"Fuck." He panted, sucking and biting lightly at the skin along her clavicle, to the top of her breasts…alternating in gentle kisses against her scars before moving to take a pert bud into his mouth. He heard a soft sound from above, fingers tightening in his hair almost painfully and he grinned around her nipple as he gently tugged her pyjamas and panties down her legs. He had to pull back reluctantly to ease them off but she was quick to press herself against his chest and their lips met again.

"Mmph." She murmured against his mouth as his fingers began to play with her core, he grinned breathlessly at how wet she was already, pressing two fingers into her while his thumb rubbed against that bundle of nerves. He kept up the slow torture for a few minutes as she panted and sighed quietly, her hips thrusted into his hand desperately and her fingernails dug into the muscles of his back painfully but he couldn't bring himself to care.

Jill huffed, letting out a soft moan before her eyes flashed to his dangerously and with a mischievous grin, she placed both her hands on his shoulders and pushed him down onto his back. Her hand quickly but gently gripped him, moving up and down as he sighed in relief and she smirked…Lowering her head down to his swollen cock and took him into her mouth.

"Oh fuck." He gasped out, her mouth was warm and wet around him, and he had to concentrate so hard on not losing it at the feel of her. She bobbed her head slowly, her hand moving along the rest of the length she couldn't fit in her mouth and her tongue teased along the underside of his cock. He felt tingles shooting up his spine when he was getting dangerously close to the edge and he reached down to gently grip her hair so he could stop her. "Fuck fuck, you gotta stop, you gotta stop."

She pulled back with an audible pop, giggling at him slightly when he groaned and he breathed out his own fond chuckle, panting as he tried not to lose it right there.

"You okay down there?" Jill asked smugly, straddling him again as she waited patiently for him to recover and he rolled his eyes fondly.

"Just about." He smirked as he sneakily pressed his thumb against her clit and smoothed teasing circles around it. "How 'bout you?" She moaned softly, hips moving into his hand as his fingers teased along her entrance and he waited for her to grow impatient for him again.

"You ready?" She asked after a few minutes of gentle torture and he nodded breathlessly. "Good." Jill murmured as she sat up slightly, her hand reaching down to guide his cock to her entrance before sinking down onto him.

"God." He gasped out, hands coming up automatically to settle on her hips as she eased herself onto him and she moved to tangle their fingers together. She paused for a few seconds once she was fully seated, taking a few breaths before she rolled her hips and they both groaned in unison.

Jill grinned, easing herself up and down as she gripped his hands tightly. Quiet moans escaped her as she moved torturously slow, Carlos wanted to touch her but he settled for using their entwined hands to his advantage to pull her down so they could kiss. Their tongues tangled together hungrily, her hips still moving in their steady pace and Carlos smirked as he bit her lip and thrusted his hips up to meet hers.

"Fuck." She let out a surprised shout, grunting desperately into his mouth as he did it again and again. He didn't know how long he could keep this up, both of them were desperately chasing their release now and Jill pushed one of his hands down urgently towards her core. He took the hint as he eased his thrusts only a little so he could fit his thumb down to her clit, she moaned a little too loudly into his mouth and he kissed her to muffle her.

"You close?" He huffed, she nodded desperately and tucked her face into his neck as her free hand clutched at his shoulder. "God, fuck, me too." They kept grinding each other and he felt nothing but relief when he heard those telltale high-pitched moans that told him she was almost there.

"Fuck." She gasped, nails scraping down his chest as her walls fluttered against him and Carlos pressed desperate kisses against the side of her face as he chased his own release. He felt that tightening in his centre before he groaned into her skin as he came inside her, he panted exhaustedly against her skin and Jill chuckled breathlessly, pulling back to kiss him chastely as they were too out of breath to kiss for any longer than that.

"You alright?" Carlos murmured tiredly, both letting out gasps as he helped ease her off his spent cock and she curled around him like a cat.

"I'm good." She murmured reassuringly, brushing her nose against his cheek and he turned his head to lightly press his lips to hers. "Love you." She added drowsily and Carlos felt a swelling in his chest with the amount of love he held for her.

"I love you too." He pressed his forehead lightly against hers, breathing her in and enjoying the way the lights of the television illuminated her skin before he closed his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't write smut good... and I am filled with shame lol. I'm sorry Jesus.  
> P.S. mistakes get fixed by me eventually... been super busy with work so prob wont get fixed til the weekend

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked this, this is still ongoing as I'm trying to get all the finer details figured out and hopefully this turns out the way I want it to as there is not enough content for them. I am open to suggestions :)


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